The Monster Behind The Man
by Luizals
Summary: The bullet that hit Charles didn't hit his spine, it hit his brain...how will this affect Erik and Charles' relationship? AU Beach Scene...No divorce-yet?(warning: angst!Charles, drugs, alcohol, child abuse, fluff...) Reviews may change the outcome of the story.
1. Chapter 1

_How did this happen?_ Erik thought_. How did the situation go from Shawn dying to me sitting beside an unconscious Charles with a bullet wound in his head?_

_He looks almost as if he is dead, he is not moving_. The amount of time they spent travelling together assured Erik that Charles was ALWAYS moving when sleeping. So no, he wasn't sleeping.

Erik tried recollecting his thoughts and putting the events in the right order in his head, maybe if everything started making sense it would help him stop shaking. For a second it hit him that this was the first time in many many years that he was shaking not because of cold or rage or even fear for his own life: he was shacking because he was scared, he was scared because _what if Charles never woke up_?

_Focus, put the events together_.

They were at the beach and Moira fired the gun, he reflected the bullet and all of a sudden Charles fell to the ground, limp and with a *tud* sound that was slightly muffled by the sand.

He ran to the telepath's limp body and when he reached his friend, the blood was already staining the sand beneath Charles' head. Erik looked at the blood and searched for its source.

He wrinkled his nose in something that remembered a sneer and pressed his hands around his best friend's neck.

_This is bad_.

On the back of his conscience he could almost feel the disappointment upon realizing Charles' voice and warmth weren't there to tell him to calm down, but he shoved all of his panic away and focused, because even a second could mean the difference between Charles' life or death so he wasn't going to freak out, and really, who was he kidding? He had never been one to lose himself over a bit of blood and he wasn't going to start it now.

_But it isn't just anyone's blood, it id Charles blood. _He thought grimly.

¨Azazel! Take us to a hospital,¨ He didn't wait for the mutant's confirmation since he didn't really have to. With a puff of smoke Azazel was touching his shoulders, and almost instantly Alex was shoving the mutant's hand off Erik, but Erik only responded with a ¨ careful with his head. ¨ not looking away from Charles' pale, _oh so pale_, face

He told all of the people around the bloody body he was holding: ¨You are all mutants ¨ he gave a meaningful glance at Moira as if saying the speech wasn't for her ears ¨and I'm at the mutants' side, so if you want to come with us I promise not to harm any of you. I don't care what you want to do but we have to take him to a hospital NOW, so shut your mouths and touch hands so we can go. Azazel! ¨

He heard, and ignored, Alex saying ¨You don't have the right to help him! You just SHOT HIM!¨ but they weren't at the beach anymore.

If he were his normal self he would have been angry at the boy's accusation: he didn't shoot Charles, the human did that, but he wasn't his normal self so he just glared at the blond and started talking to the doctors because he knew a second longer could mean the death of his Charles.

Everything after they teleported was very chaotic but it worked itself out eventually, only minor complications.

They had appeared at a military hospital close to the beach they were previously in and only some of the staff spoke English, not that it was a problem they didn't speak it because Erik could speak a variety of languages, so he blackmailed and threatened the right people in the right order and after a mixture of both they very eager to comply to his requests: perform Charles surgery and hide them from the other staff for the time being.

Charles went to surgery and the mutants waited.

They had left Moira at the beach but every mutant was on the, out of the way, waiting room, even riptide and Azazel .

At some point Sean approached him and said Alex had been right about it being Erik's fault, but he was none less grateful that Erik had helped the professor to a hospital.

Many awkward and tense hours later a doctor walked into the room and said Charles was alive but the next 48 hours would decide if he would continue like that.

Apparently the bullet had entered through his neck and lodged itself inside his head, and after taking the bullet out some complications could arise and so on; Needless to say that he next 48 hours passed with Erik, Alex, Sean, Raven and Hank in a room staring at a very still Charles in a flat bed with no pillows so his head wasn't disturbed.

Erik repeated the events over and over in his head and realized that yes, it was partially his fault that Charles was in a coma for the last four days, but the problem laid on humans for trying to kill them, on Shawn for …for existing, on Moira for firing at him and last but not least: it was, indeed. his fault.

Six days after the bullet was removed Erik was high jacked out of his light sleep by a loud screaming.

He was standing ready to fight in the blink of an eye but he realized, just as soon, that the screaming was coming from Charles, and it was so broken and desperate that Erik couldn't move, he just didn't know what to do so he stood and watched.

The last scream he had heard that sounded so desperate had been in the camps and he didn't even know who it belong to so hearing that- that weird and desperate _cry_ coming from his friend was deafening.

Before he could decide between going closer and trying to help Charles or running away the quickest he could Hank was beside the bed trying to calm the man who was curled up holding his head so hard the wound reopened and the white enveloping was turning red.

¨Professor ¨Hank pleaded with tear full eyes but Charles looked like a scared child as he curled up even more and tears fell from both men and stained the sheets.¨ Professor, please tell me what is wrong. What is happening? How can I help¨

Alex and Sean were beside Hank and both were lost at what to do, it had been at least five minutes of unstopping cries from Charles and he hadn't looked up even once, he continued to clutch his head so intensely that the soaked bandages were dripping blood in to the white sheets and every time Hank tried to get closer he would wiggle away and press his body as close to the wall as he could.

After what seemed, to Erik, like an eternity, but it was in reality roughly six minutes, Charles was spent so he fell limp, face first, into the sheets and the room returned to its previous silence that seemed even more heightened by the beeping machines and the man bleeding from both: his neck, his head, his nose and his ears.

Erik took care of the nurses and doctors attracted by the shouting, Hank treated the open sutures and re-bandaged the Professor, Sean looked startling white and silent holding the bed frame so tightly his knuckles were a weird yellow, red and blue mixture on the, now, lit up room.

Raven called Azazel, speaking for the first time in days, and they transferred The Professor to the manor.

Alex didn't want Magneto to come with them because he had betrayed the Professor, but after hearing so much pain from the man who saved his life he didn't know what to do. If Magneto could help, and Alex really wish he could, than Alex all for it.

_After all how can a high school drop out that likes to piss off people and occasionally put things on fire, help someone? I've never helped, I've only destroyed, and to know that I can't help him, hurts like hell._

Hank had decided a familiar environment might bring a different reaction from Charles and after he explained Erik, reluctantly, his theory that because Charles is a telepath his brain waves were way of the charts for coma patients maybe he was telepathically awake and reading everyone's mind, so the problem could be that there were to many people at the hospital and to many of them were hostile minds and because he was in a coma he couldn't control what to read and what not to read.

The explanation made sense after he showed Charles' brain waves before and after the bullet, and explained that many other theories didn't make much sense, but when Erik was leaving the lab/infirmary to drink some water. Erik hadn't stayed far from Charles for more than an hour after he came back from the surgery. He though he heard Hank saying ¨But he might just be in pain.¨.

Erik didn't press the matter: he didn't really want to know the answer.

Erik pretended not noticing the increase on the morphine dosage of Charles IV drip when he came back from the kitchen.

**So yeh…if you read it all you must have liked some of it so thanks about that. I –like many other people(I hope)- like when my favorite character suffers so to know how they will suffer continue reading it. Read and Review please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Please read this, it explains a lot.**

**A reviewer pointed out that if a comatose patient woke up and started screaming he/she would ask for a doctor right away, so let me explain my mutants point of view: some doctors had been black mailed in to doing Xavier's surgery and stuff, and some of the staff had been threatened/ blackmailed to keep him and the others a secret, because they are basically a bunch of mutants being persecuted by the American army in Cuban territory… So yes, Erik and the others should have called a doctor but among being shocked and a bunch of nurses and doctors, that shouldn't know they were there, entering the room everything went kind of south.**

**Thank you for pointing that out dear reviewer, maybe when I stop being lazy I will update the last chapter.**

Charles' vitals had been normal for a while. Brain activity was still very high but that was what hank had expected. So when machines began to beep faster, he knew the professor was about to wake up.

Hank made a shushing gesture to everyone in the room and calmly asked them to leave. Everyone, but Erik, complied and left the lab and when Charles woke up, clutching his head. They waited for the screams that were sure to follow but they never did, instead, Charles curled up into a tight ball and started mumbling to himself.  
**  
**

Erik watched the man on the steel table with kind eye. That was his best friend. His naïve and polite friend who almost never lost his cool. Now, said friend looked completely crazy curled up in a ball, holding his forehead to the operation table that they had bought merely weeks ago.

He wasn't going to stand by and watch like he had last time-this time he would_ help Charles. _He would try and fix this...whatever THIS is.  
And with that reasoning, he approached the man. Very slowly and calmly so as to not surprise him, and tried to talk to him.

¨Charles...Charles, where does it hurt ? How can I-How can WE help you? ¨  
His voice cracked a little, he had never expected to feel so useless and desperate upon seeing someone else in pain. He hadn't even realized he had it in him to care so much, but he did.

He cares for Charles and he has no idea of how to help him. He never had to be kind to someone and he didn't know how to talk to the frightened and vulnerable young man in front of him.

He took another step forward, towering over the table and the man on it, trying to coax Charles into talking to him. Or at the very least recognize his presence. If Charles heard him, he was ignoring Erik's pleas. He extended his hands in Charles' direction and touched his shoulder lightly.

As soon as his hands came in contact with Charles' skin, the telepath jerked away from it as if it had burned him. The telepath's secondary reaction was to gasp and pant. His eyes open wide and unfocused.

Suddenly, Charles jumps off the table and runs to the nearest wall so he can press himself to it like his life depended on it. Not once does he take his eyes off the floor.  
He goes back to mumbling to himself shortly after that.  
**  
**  
Hank thinks that Charles' reaction, as startling and weird as it was, is obviously an improvement from the previous one so he deduces his theories may have been correct. But if he was correct, why is Charles so scared of them? Surely the professor knows what they are thinking and that none of the people in the mansion want to harm him. Hank shoved his questions to wherever thoughts go when you stop thinking about them and walked to Erik's side.

Leaning closer to Erik, Hank whispered "The bullet must have caused more damage than we expected. There are too many reasons for why he is acting this way. First-first we need to calm him down or his wounds will start bleeding again. Then maybe I can figure out why he is acting so weird. If he is going to have a connection between the two of us, I think you would have more of a chance." He pleads for Erik's assistance primarily because he's never had to help the professor before and he doesn't know how to do it. He's only received help from him, never the other way around.

It is painfully obvious now how little he, and the others, know of the man that holds so much of their loyalty and respect.

Erik gave a stiff nod and walked slowly towards the telepath. A few steps short of being right in front of Charles, Erik stops and crouches.

He starts in a low voice he hopes is soothing, ¨Charles, you need to calm down.¨ he licks his dry lips. ¨You were shot and you had a complicated surgery only a few days ago so if you don't calm down you may make it worse.¨

The only reaction Charles exhibited was to stop mumbling.  
¨Charles, I'm going to touch you and help you back to the table, ok?¨  
The terrified man remains silent and Erik's panic is slowly starting to increase.  
Erik reaches for the younger man and even though his friend flinches, he lets Erik help him stand.

¨I'm not broken…¨ comes a faint whisper. It is the first time Charles has talked to them since he woke up the day before. Erik freezes for a moment before recomposing himself. Charles slowly continues, ¨I'm not broken, nor am I crazy, so stop thinking that.¨  
¨I never said you were.¨

¨Hm¨ And with that last mumble, they are on the table. Charles winces and clutches his teeth. His hands never left his head and once again tighten around it, obviously with too much force because the clean white bandages have a new red spot.

¨Please stop!¨ Charles' voice breaks and he winces again. ¨Go away!¨

The next second, Erik comes back to his senses and he realizes he is outside the mansion with a dumbstruck Hank beside him.

¨What?!¨ He finally comes to the shocking conclusion-Charles used his telepathy to make them leave.

He fists his hands and runs back inside the mansion at full speed, leaving a still shocked Hank standing in the garden.

_ What is going on in that head of yours, Charles?_  
Erik passes through the hall and the kitchen, steps down the stairs and finds himself back on the outside of the mansion. This time Hank, Alex and Sean are also standing there with confused expressions plastered on their faces.  
**  
** Raven is vaguely aware that she is walking out of the house towards the group of confused mutants even though a moment ago she was in the hallway leading to the lab. She rolls her eyes and grumbles because she knows this blankness in her mind and the strangeness of the situation. 

_ARGH! Seriously Charles, did you have to send everyone away?_  
_ Even me…?_

She could feel tears prickling behind her eyes. 

_Don't cry Raven, you were planning on betraying him and he probably knows that. That is why he doesn't want you near him. It_'s your fault.  
_If he is able to keep all of us of from entering the hallway outside the lab, that means he is partially in control of his power. Calm down! This is not like before. Charles is in control. He is ok. He is ok. I'm ok…Everything is fine._

She continued repeating it like a mantra in her head. Maybe if she kept it going everything would be ok. The last time she saw him have this type of a breakdown, a person died. And even though she is sure the monster deserved it, Charles freaked out. He stayed depressed, and totally un-Charles-like, for a year or so until she broke down in front of him and made him promise to take better care of himself. 

Raven snapped her head to the side. She noticed Alex and Erik had tried getting inside a couple of minutes earlier. Now they came walking out of the house with blank faces. Slowly, that turned into an angry expression, in Erik's case. And a scared expression in Alex's.

She took in a deep, calming breath and approached them, shaking her head.  
¨You won't be able to enter the lab, just stay here until he lets us in.¨ 

Erik tried to bypass her and enter the house but she grabbed his arm firmly. 

¨He doesn't want us in there! Just stay put until we can actually help and not anger him further. He is already confused and obviously in pain.¨ When it looked like he wouldn't accept the patience route, she pleaded with her eyes. ¨Please Erik, just wait it out.¨  
**  
**

Erik glares down at Raven. Desperation clouding his thoughts. _That is exactly why I want to go in there! Charles is in pain and he looks so confused and scared. I have to go in there and help him._

As if she was the telepath, Raven understood. 

¨You can't help him,¨ dropping down to a low whisper. ¨and I can't either.¨ 

She let go of his arm and looked down. 

_What the hell is happening here?! This whole thing is like a badly written book._  
Erik passed a hand through his hair and sighed. It's not that he accepted Raven's warning but it wasn't like he could walk in there and help Charles by force. After three attempts, he decided he wasn't going to get near the lab's door if Charles didn't want him to.  
With his arms crossed and his forehead wrinkled, Erik rested his back against the wall and waited.

**Hello there :) another chapter will be up in a jiff, i hope you enjoyed it. i just wanted to comment: english is weird. A very nice person helped me edit this chap and i just think it is weird in some unexpected ways, anyway, I'm gonna stop wasting your time.**


	3. Chapter 3

An hour after the forced exile from the lab, the group was still outside. Too distressed to even consider trying to go back in, silence fell between the gathered mutants.

After Raven convinced Erik to stop trying to get to Charles, everyone just sort of lost their will to move and followed suit.

Alex had gone to the stone rail and sat on the floor, with his head tipped up and closed his eyes. He looked beat up.

Sean was also at the rail, but he was standing. His elbows on the rail and his head in his hands, he looked like he might cry if anyone dared to talk to him.

Hank appeared to be the calmest but, knowing him, she could almost see his overactive brain trying to somehow calculate the odds of the worst case scenario happening. Not that she knew what the worst case scenario was...and most likely not even Hank.

Erik was freaking out. From a normal person's point of view he would look like he was stressed or just having a bad day. But to Raven it was clear that he was losing it. She had seen Erik, in a rage, it happened a few times, but she had never seen him so bothered and nervous. He would pass his hands through his hair multiple times in a couple of minutes, walk a few steps, then go back to the wall and lean on it. He continued to invent ways to keep moving, but his face showed no more traces of emotion than a creased forehead.

¨We've been waiting for,¨ she looked at her watch. ¨almost an hour. I'm going back inside.¨ She expected someone to say something or get up and walk inside with her, but no one did. ¨He doesn't seem to want us near him but being out here doesn't help him either, you know.¨

Silence

Raven left it at that and walked inside.  
_I AM worried, but I have been worried for days now. I'm also hungry and tired and…argh!_

She fixed herself a PB&J sandwich in the kitchen and sat at the sofa a few steps away.  
The sandwich wasn't nearly as good as the ones Charles used to fix her and she felt the overwhelming urge to cry herself asleep.  
**  
**  
Outside Sean was thinking of ways to help the Professor but the more he thought about it, the more complicated it seemed. He had no idea what was going on with the Professor and it wasn't just that he woke up screaming, he knew the Professor was in pain. It was because, the second time he woke up, the Professor apparently decided that none of them were worth seeing. He thinks that none of them could help him and he is probably right. The professor is always right. So if he didn't believe they could help him, it was because they probably couldn't.  
A single tear escaped his closed lids and he let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.

He really cares about the Professor. He is a really nice guy to everyone, but to Sean it was even more than that. A couple of days after Sean was recruited, he was thinking of giving up on the strange group and going back to his normal life. He felt out of place and awkward. One day, while in front of the TV alone nursing a beer, Charles dropped into the seat next to him. Conversation came easily between the two. He felt a connection immediately with the brown haired, blue eyed Professor. For all of his life, Sean wanted to feel like he belonged somewhere and for the first time, Sean felt it. He belongs here. Here with this ragtag team of mutants.

The teen had never truly understood himself but Charles saw the best in him. He always saw the best in everyone. One thing stuck out the most in their conversation, the Professor had told him he had a role in the team that no one could replace. It was as if Charles knew exactly what his discomforts were and knew exactly how to relieve it. Of course, being the telepath that he was, he probably did know but even tough it sounded corny and cheesy, it felt so genuine that Sean couldn't help but believe him.

Maybe the drinks and the fact that the man knew exactly what he wanted to hear helped him seem so trustworthy but Sean couldn't help immediately warming up to the guy. The weeks that followed proved just how much the slightly older man cared and understood him. After awhile, Sean stopped considering Charles and the team as friends. They started to become more like family to him, and when his family is suffering, he suffers too. He desperately wants to help, but he doesn't know how.

He took a deep breath and messed his hair with both hands.  
After another moment of silent worrying, he went to the kitchen. He wouldn't be of any help to the Professor by collapsing from hunger when he finally decides he needs their help.

A couple of minutes later Hank walked in and started to read a book at the kitchen table.

An hour or so later, Alex took a seat in front of the window and closed his eyes in a very similar position to the one he had been in outside. He didn't put his knees up to his chest though, he didn't want to dirty the sofa.

Erik walked past the young mutants in the kitchen towards the lab a few times. After five attempts, he stopped returning with a blank face every few seconds. After the sixth, it was happening randomly.

After the thirteen hours that Charles kept up the mental barrier around the lab Erik was pissed, nervous, and tired. He hasn't had a good night's sleep since two days before Cuba. Nightmares had prevented him from getting a decent shut-eye. To keep up the insomnia, he did what anyone would've: he took in a vast amount of coffee and kept a vertical position at all times.  
Currently Erik had half a cup of cold coffee in hand, lingering along the wall of the hallway closest to the lab, drunk with sleep. He had tested the limits of Charles' ¨trick¨ and it was about twenty meters from the door.

He noticed everything was very quiet, so he decided to try again: he took one, two, three steps.  
Nothing happened.  
No "W_eird, I wasn't here a minute ago._¨ or ¨_Argh, I'm outside again!_¨

he put his mug on the floor and walking more confidently, he reached for the door and pulled it open.  
Charles was on the floor with Hank's blanket wrapped around him. Hank would sleep in that lab almost every day so there were random everyday life items in it. Charles was tapping the fingers of his right hand on the floor in a very slow rhythm, his left hand massaging the bridge of his nose.  
At the sound of the door opening, Charles turned his head and looked at Erik.

¨Oh, hello there.¨ He greeted with a thicker-than-normal British accent and a cheeky smile.  
¨I didn't expect you to notice the hallway thing so soon.¨ He pointed loosely to the door. ¨ Then again, you have been out there for quite a while, yes?¨  
The younger man closed his eyes and breathed shallowly.

Erik could see Charles' bandages were soaked with blood and some of it had dripped, staining the floor and his collarbone. The man was also quite pale.  
He approached the sweat and blood soaked man and offered his hand. ¨What the hell is happening with you, Charles?¨ he asked, giving the younger man a bewildered expression.

¨You seem to think I owe you an answer, now why would you think that?¨ Charles accepted the help, standing on wobbly legs.

He steadied the swaying man by planting a firm hand on his elbow and coincidentally, made the telepath look up at him. ¨Because you are my friend and maybe I can help you.¨ Charles opened his mouth to say something but Erik cut him off by shaking his head.

"Let me finish...I know you must blame me, and you should, really, but I swear I never wanted to hurt you.¨ He was being sincere, he had never had any intention of hurting Charles.  
¨You have to agree with me, though. The humans tried to kill you. Tried to kill you after you had just stopped a war, for God's sakes! You have to snap out of your make believe world and see that they are not like us. I'm sorry the bullet hit you, I am, but I was right and I still am; the humans will be the death of us all. You have to believe me when I say that my actions are only because I want to protect you, protect US...all of us.¨

It was strange to talk so much and in such a manner but he had to convince him, because this was Charles: his friend, his equal, his Charles.  
He had to make sure his only friend understood reality because if he didn't then-then this would be the last time they weren't enemies. He was certain Charles would eventually die in the hands of the humans if that happened.

During the little apology/speech, Charles was giving him a look that was everything but easy to read.  
Clearing his throat, Erik continued, ¨If you hang onto your naivete, you will end up dead and so will the people following you.¨  
Taking a second to check if there was anything he forgot to say, he felt satisfied. He could have gone on and on but at the moment, words didn't seem to want to cooperate with him.

Charles moved one eyebrow up as if asking if he was finished. Erik nodded.  
¨I agree with you. Humans will eventually destroy the world but what can one do about that, right?¨ came Charles' reply with a snarky grin on his face.

Erik was beyond confused. He was "totally lost" as Raven would put it. He fixed Charles a ¨hm?¨ look and so Charles went on.  
¨I do not understand what you are talking about by the way. And who would be following me, right? As for your apology, I do not know what you are asking forgiveness for, either. Sorry to disappoint you, mate, but I have no idea who you are. It was interesting meeting you, though!¨

Erik thought he heard Charles mumble something else but he just stared up at him and offered his hand. As Erik didn't move to shake on it, the younger shrugged and walked away.  
Erik was dumbstruck for a second before following the telepath out of the room.  
**  
**  
My dad just called me and asked if I hid the TV. Now dad, why would I do that? It doesn't even make sense, and to top it off I'm not even home and I haven't been for like two weeks, what does he think I do? Does he think I just wake up some days with the urge to hide his TV? And he asked me if a HID it not BORROEWD it.  
Dad, I did not hide you television ok?( you won't read this but seriously dad, why did you even?...)  
Be a doll and review, yes? (If you read this in a Charles voice you are in the right fandom.)


	4. Chapter 4

Erik stopped Charles from leaving the lab. Not that he had a reason to, but the situation was just so—wrong.

He would try to ask what happened, but he just couldn't seem to focus on the subject. Every time he tried to reach a hand out and grab Charles' arm, he would find himself thinking about his favorite food or, strangely enough, about pandas. It was all very confusing.

He knew Charles was deflecting him on purpose and, as irritating as it was, it was quite amazing to see how he could influence Erik just like that.

He hadn't managed to talk to the man more than once, and when he succeeded in getting a sentence out of his mouth, it was: ¨Don't you think ice-cream is wonderful?¨

Charles smiled patiently and answered with a ¨It is delightful, isn't it?¨. Erik remained silent after that.

Charles arrived at the kitchen with a very confused and irritated Erik on his heels. Giving the rest of the group a polite smile as acknowledgement, Charles went to Raven and pulled her into a tight hug.

¨Oh, how I've missed you, Raven. I've missed you so much.¨

They acted like it was a faithful reunion or something, even though Erik was certain Charles knew of Raven's choice to betray him at the beach. He felt kind of jealous that Raven got a big bug and he got a ¨I don't know you¨ out of the man. He had thought that Charles would be at least a bit upset with her.

_He knows of Raven's intentions but he forgives her. So why is he not acknowledging me? Is he trying to ignore me because he blames me for getting shot? Does he think I coerced her in to leaving him? STOP! _

_Erik! You are over-thinking this...it's a bad habit you've developed in this last couple of months. It's his fault I have this habit of tangent thoughts, right? *sigh* he looks a bit confused but at least he's awake and not screaming. That's a good sign. If he forgives her that's good, you never wanted them to fight. _

_Erik could hear the __You are just jealous.__ That some part of his brain seemed to be screaming, but he hid it deep inside his chest and continued observing the pair in the middle of the kitchen._

Raven was frozen still for a moment. Her brother had entered the kitchen, smiled to the others and hugged her in all of two seconds.

_See, he still loves you. Of course he forgives you, it's Charles!_

Feeling her limbs again she accepted and returned hugged as tightly as she could.

_I'm so glad you are ok._She projected to him.

_Of course I'm ok, as long as I have you, I will be fine. I promised, didn't I?_

_Yes, yes you did but I didn't know coming back from comas was included on that promise._

She buried her smiling, tear stained, face even further into his neck and inhaled the scent of her brother. Her alive and coma free brother.

When he took too long to answer she felt herself begin to tense up again.

_Charles?_

_Oh, yes. Yes darling what is it?_

She hesitated a bit. _Nothing, just wanted to make sure you were ok._

_I'm fine thank you._

Eventually, they pulled away from each other and he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

_Now, dear sister, care to explain to me how we ended up back in the manor? I had intended to never set foot in here again and somehow I doubt I had the sudden urge to come back._

She looked at him with concern. The others shuffled their feet awkwardly at the private moment.

_Never mind that, can we please get out of here, these people are scaring me a little bit._

Before she could answer, he took her hand and started walking to the hall. Passing by the others, he gave them a tentative "Excuse us."

When she came back to her senses, she immediately stopped him and pulled him back to face her.

¨Charles?¨ She looked deeply into his blue eyes.

¨Hm?¨

Now that she cared to really look, she saw the soaked bandages and his way too pale face.

¨Where are we going?¨

¨Home, of course! We can discuss what happened when we get there, I assure you I'm deeply sorry.¨

He pulled at her hand but she remained still.

¨What are you talking about? We are already home. And why on earth would you be sorry for anything? I am the one that should be sorry. Wait, did you change your mind about the humans?¨

He looked away with furrowed brows.

¨Raven I know I said I would never...you know...¨ He glanced at the others watching them from a few steps away and continued mentally. _I promised I would never read your mind, but if you continue messing with me I will be forced to break that promise for the moment. Who are these people by the way? They seem to be quite delusional. They think I'm someone else, a professor…?Anyway, they are making my headache worse. Can we please discuss wherever it is you want to discuss it...at home perhaps? And what on Earth would you want to look older for?"_

He nudged her hand again but she remained still.

_I'm begging Raven, please, let's go. _

She didn't budge.

I'm_ sorry I did it again ok? I just needed a bit of peace for the moment._

He looked at her face and she had the most ridiculous expression; Eyes wide, brows furrowed, head cocked to one side and mouth open. If she didn't look so afraid, it would have been a very funny expression.

¨Charles what is your name?¨

He laughed at her. What a silly thing to ask.

¨I'm serious, maybe that wasn't the smartest question but...¨ She looked around the room for Hank.

_Hank will know what to do._

¨Hank, there is something wrong with him. He...there's...just check him ok?¨

Hank stepped forward and Charles stepped back. He glared straight at her.

_I told you Raven, these people are wrong in the head and even though they are interesting, I don't want to do this right now. I'm going home and I would like for you to come with me._

He waited for her to make a move to go with him but she just stepped a little further from the door.

_Charles I don't know what is going on with you, but let Hank check your wounds or at least let him re-bandage you before you go running away from here ok?_

She tried to calm him but inside, she was breaking down.

Sensing Raven's emotions being broadcasted so strongly, fear mostly, Charles let out a sigh and let the man in the blue costume check his head. Aside from the killer migraine, there were bandages there, so he had probably hurt it the night before.

Charles was used to waking up in strange places with a wound or two. It had been happening too often for the last few weeks though. He made a mental note to cut back on the drugs a bit. The alcohol was a lost cause, he would never give that up.

While the man in the costume took the bandages from his head and neck, he remembered the older guy telling him he had a bullet in his head or something. That was a good enough warning to stop doing weird things while drunk...or maybe stop GETTING drunk in the first place, maybe he should actually honor one of his promises to Raven.

He didn't remember anything besides going to Harriet's house the night before. Knowing Harriet and himself, they had probably mixed strong hallucinogens with alcohol and ended up doing something stupid. The night must have been good because he remembered nothing and he felt like shit.

The monkey creature fastened the clean bandages the ginger had brought him around Charles' head. It felt great to be in his own head again. Sometimes when he did something particularly stupid, like let's say being hit by a bullet while drunk and high, his mental walls would be damaged and he would be back to being a mental sponge. It is one of the worst things he could ever feel. He remembered not being able to create walls as a child, and he never wanted to go through that again.

He was fine now with the mental walls in place, but the headache caused by the flood of thoughts, people, emotions, and memories, was very very bad. He just wanted to go back to the flat, have a good drink, and then sleep it off.

Charles made a move to get up from the chair he didn't even notice he had been sitting in.

As he straightened up, he became quite dizzy and started to fall. He waited for the impact with the floor but when it didn't come he opened his eyes, he saw that someone, none other than the hot older man, was holding him steadily, albeit a bit awkwardly.

_Interesting._

Let's confuse people a bit more shall we wicked mind. My mind responded: yes we shall and that's why this chap ends here.

See ya.


	5. Chapter 5

Alex didn't know what to feel. Too many emotions and impulses were running through the mutant. He held back the strong impulse to grab the Professor and shake him till he returned back to his normal Professor-y self, puke or hug the man while crying on his shoulder and thanking god the guy was alive. Surely this would freak out the Professor just a little bit, so Alex made sure to hold it back.

He didn't understand what was happening but it was clear the professor was a little out of it. But who cares!? He's alive and he doesn't seem to be in so much pain anymore. To Alex, that was a win!

The Professor's brows were furrowed and he had a lot of blood staining his head...but that was OK too. At least he wasn't screaming or sending them away anymore.

Another win right?!

He watched as the Professor silently sat there, quietly absorbing the information surrounding him with a somewhat calm demeanor. His heart clenched at the sight of him emotionally pushing them away. When Hank was done, the Professor looked as if he couldn't wait to run away, getting up out of the chair so fast he almost fell. Before anyone, even Hank who was the closest to him, could help, Erik was across the room and holding Charles upright. They both looked uncomfortable and Alex almost shouted something along the lines of ¨Don't you dare touch him, you bastard!¨ but he held his tongue upon seeing the older man's face. He seemed genuinely afraid Charles would fall over and hurt himself.

_Like falling is worse than having a bullet shot through his neck and head._

Again, he held that statement back and continued watching out for his mentor like a mother bear would her cub.

To Sean it was clear something was very wrong from the moment the Professor appeared and hugged Raven like someone's life depended on it. He didn't even acknowledge their presence other than a quick smile and nod.

For the last few minutes Hank had been bandaging him slower than necessary because, to be honest, it was obvious to everyone in the room that the man might flee at any second.

During the whole conversation between the two siblings and with Hank fussing over the Professor's injuries, no one had the willpower to say anything. They just stood there in shock, watching the man in the chair ignore them whiles being polite at the same time.

_Only the professor can manage to politely ignore someone._ Sean thought.

So when Charles reacted the way they feared he would, which is run away, everybody held their breath. They were all collectively panicking inside...it was ridiculous that nobody knew how to deal with the Professor. He had the look of a cornered dog, patiently biding his time until he could run off.

Whit everyone openly staring at him Charles was thinking.

_This is much weirder than just another hangover day. I've done some crazy partying in my life and am no stranger to waking up to weird stuff: injuries? no memory? That's manageable. A group of delusional people staring at me, no memories, mind: un-warded and uncooperative little sister? That's too much even for me._

_...who ARE these people? More importantly: Why am I back at the old house?! I thought I had washed my hands of this place for the last time. _

_Oh my god, they need to stop thinking so much and projecting their emotions...their thoughts are so loud!_

When he first awoke, he was immediately overwhelmed by the amount of thoughts and feelings around him. That was nothing new but the content and amount of those thoughts was very painful. It was too much so he drifted back to blissful darkness.

The next time he woke up, there were much less people thankfully, but he had a terrible headache and when opening his eyes there are two strange men hovering over him. It had been fairly creepe, especially the one in the blue costume.

He had been grateful for the considerably lower amount of people, there were, however, 5 very disturbed minds around him...all of them a bit delusional and all of them with very strong emotions. Too strong actually: the need to block them out was quite urgent. This was all too much and his knee jerk reaction was to send everyone away before starting on the arduous task of rebuilding his telepathic wards.

Building telepathic barriers is no walk in the park. It takes a huge amount of concentration and focus. Any small disturbance can crumble the wall he was building. It is quite frustrating, and even more difficult, when he was being bombarded by memories and the highly fueled emotions being broadcast all over the house. Not to mention the exhaustion from this type of mental work and the headache slowing him down. Not being able to hold it for longer the mental field fell and for a moment he wished no one noticed so he could have a minute to recover.

He could feel that Raven was terribly worried about him, because she was broadcasting it way too loudly for him to ignore. But the most important question was how she found out where he was. Even he didn't know where he was.

His hopes for some peace and quiet, before making his escape, were crushed when the mind outside the door walked in.

He thought about what to do next while the stranger proceeded to apologize and start on this drawn out speech.

_Walk out, pick Raven up-what she was even doing here was also a mystery-and go home. But, of course, fate had other ideas in mind._

W_hat have I done to wake up to this mess?_ He wondered, but those thoughts immediately ceased when he was once again shocked by his surroundings. He finally realized what room he was standing in.

It was different, it looked like it was a lab of some sorts and infirmary with equipment scattered all around, but he recognized the place. Looking around a bit more, he saw the couch where he found the blanket. Even though the room has changed in appearance, the lab was definitely one of the manor's unused rooms.

At that point he was completely freaking out. He immediately sought refuge in his powers. Adopting a calm demeanor he started to think of what to do next. He knew he needed to get out of the house as quickly as possible-the situation was way too confusing, especially to someone who had just woken up with a terrible headache.

He waited for the german man in front of him to finish his speech even though he already knew everything the man wanted to say. The guy keeps thinking it so loudly it's impossible not to hear it. So when the man finished his speech, Charles automatically answered, forgetting to pass his words through the filter in his mind. The next moment had him storming out of the room towards his sister's presence.

_Get her and go away. Later, you ask for her forgiveness and apologize. All's well that ends well. *giggle* Shakespeare._

He finally got to Raven. His plan of whisking her away from the unnerving house and weird people were all for naught when she refused to budge.

_It is my baby sister after all. She can be quite vexing._

That is what led Charles to his current position; answering stupid mental health routine questions from a man wearing the weird costume.

F_or God's sake, why is he wearing that?_

But of course, being the thought magnet that he is, he knew the answer. The man thought he WAS a furry blue monster. _Interesting._

_Focus! He reprehended himself._

All the while, Charles was battling his terrible headache while mentally conversing with Raven.

_I'm telling you, little sister, these people are hard core users. Their thoughts are way too jumbled, and I'm not exactly in my right mind at the moment. So please, let's get out of here._

¨Charles stop talking in my head. You can say all of that out loud, they are your friends.¨ She fixed him with a pleading look. He could hear her thinking over and over again, "_Please! Please say all of this is a stupid joke!"_

He didn't know what she was talking about, though her worry was starting to affect him. He tentatively reached out and, for the first time, actually tried to understand the sea of thoughts coming from the people surrounding him.

A minute or two of looking around in their heads was enough for him. He sighed, massaging his temples. The conclusion he came to was even more confusing than when he first woke up.

¨So what you are all saying, is that you are all my friends and I'm some type of professor.¨

No one answered because a moment later, he startled them all by letting out a big gasp.

¨Oh! You are all—Oh!¨ A mixture of surprise, doubt, excitement, happiness, relief and every emotion but the kitchen sink passed through Charles' body. The people in the room seemed awed by this reaction. ¨You are all like me!¨ Charles looked at them and then to his hands and let out a low sigh/chuckle before looking back up at them.

Erik found Charles' reaction was quite unsettling.

_So this is real. Charles doesn't remember me—US! Charles doesn't remember us._His heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach.

Shaking his head to calm his thudding heart, he collected himself and answered the man's question.

¨Yes.¨ Charles looked at him specifically. ¨We are all mutants.¨

Erik looked at Hank, expecting him to immediately go into a medical terminology loaded explanation. Or even something along the lines of ¨This is the swelling's fault. Wait a few hours and he will be the Charles we know again.¨ But when the silence stretched on, Erik pushed for it. ¨Hank what's wrong with him?¨

Hank hesitated.

¨I don't know. I-I mean, physically his wounds shouldn't have affected his memory. The bullet wasn't in that part of the brain. But there are cases where the-the victim's brain creates amnesia as a coping mechanism following a traumatic event.¨

Charles immediately jumped in. ¨Pardon my confusion on this subject, but are you saying I have lost my memory? I assure you, I remember everything. Well, that is, everything except for last night's events. But I highly doubt that a blackout is a sign of brain damage, even though that is what you are all screaming in your heads. Sorry it's just really loud.¨ He has a lopsided grin on his face to cover up the grimace he was sure would be on there instead, from his aching head. Again, silence answered his statement, so Erik stepped in. After his clearing his throat of the boulder that was in there, he lets out a reluctant ¨Basically, yeah.¨

Charles frowned."Moving on..." a small hesitant smile forms on his face again, excitement coursing through his body. "So you all know of my mutation?" A series of nods, "uhhuh"'s, and Hank's "yes" answered Charles' question.

¨And you are all like me?¨ He asked and four hesitant nods answered his question.

¨That is absolutely fantastic!¨ Charles' smile almost blinds Erik with its beauty. He looked happier then Erik had ever seen him. ¨So my hypothesis is sound. Raven and I cannot be the only ones out here. This truly is fascinating!" Looking over to the four strangers, Charles immediately inspected them with his wide, curious blue eyes. To them, he's their friend and leader. A man that they've grown to love and respect. But to Charles, they're strangers and the exciting prospect of meeting not just one, but four other mutants was an experience that left him feeling like a student of science again. Rubbing his hands together feverishly while his mind raced to catalogue all the details of Hank's blue fur and golden eyes. Moving onto Erik, his eyes roved everywhere from his head to his toes as if he would suddenly sprout blue fur if Charles looked hard enough.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Erik smiled fondly at Charles' expressions and enthusiasm. It was like watching those classic Christmas commercials where the child rips open the presents beneath the tree with the most absurdly happy face.

It was Hank's turn to interrupt. Clearing his throat, "Professor?" Charles didn't look at him at first and he corrected himself, ¨I mean, Charles...what is the last thing you remember?¨

¨HM? Oh right, you believe I am exhibiting symptoms of brain damage. Well let's see. I left the flat around...around...I don't know actually. I went to Harriet's house and then...well I'm afraid that's all.¨ He looked up at them. Erik took notice of the slight coloring in his cheeks. He looked HAPPY.

Before Hank could say anything, Charles held up a hand with a shy smile.

¨But none of that helps you, I know. May I be frank with all of you. You are aware of my powers, so I hope you will excuse my intrusion and rudeness. I searched your minds a little and from what I could gather, you all believe we've known each other for a good amount of time and we've all been part of a team. We somehow ended up on a beach and a woman sh..." Wincing as a strong tidal wave of emotions came shooting at him. He brought a hand to rub his temples, "May I ask you all to try not to project so hard. Thank you, that helps a lot. So we all ended up on a beach where a woman, Moira is it? shot the tall one...Erik, yes?¨ he raised an eyebrow and Erik gave a stiff nod.

¨And with Erik being a mutant, as you call it, he used his ability to deflect the bullet and I was shot in the head.¨ he stops and waits for a confirmation.

¨Yes, that's not everything, but that's pretty much what happened.¨ Erik swallowed around the lump in his throat.

¨I see...well I'm sure you all can understand how confusing and shocking a situation this is. Might I suggest getting out of this house and having a decent meal before dealing with my supposed memory loss. And, if it's not too much of an inconvenience, maybe let me sleep a bit? But if not that's perfectly fine as well...I am quite eager to get to know more about all of you!"

IEIIIII. Another chapter goes by. Please review, no? ok… but the world has another sad person and it is your fault TT^TT


	6. Chapter 6

In true Charles' fashion, the ragtag group of mutants found themselves being lead to the vast green lawn of the mansion. After grabbing some jeans and a black shirt for Charles from his room, Raven found a checkered sheet in the kitchen. After a quick discussion, they all agreed on calling for some pizza to be delivered.  
_So far so good. __ran through Erik's mind._  
Charles looked him in the eye and, for a second, Erik thought he saw the corners of Charles' mouth fall. His own mouth starts to copy the action at this sudden change. But before it could truly turn into an expression of sadness, Charles' smile came back full blast and he turns to start a conversation with Raven.  
¨So¨ Charles starts, clapping his hands together. ¨now that the food is on its way and we have established I have lost some of my memory let's talk about what's going to happen.¨ He looks pointedly at Hank and, keeping his smile on, ¨I know you are all very confused and stressed out by all that has been happening lately, so how about we negotiate on how to deal with this strange situation?¨  
Silence and confusion answered Charles' question. Erik, ever the brave one, spoke up. ¨What are you talking about, Charles? What do we have to negotiate about when we all want the same thing?" giving the young man a suspicious look.  
Charles went on unperturbed, even with Erik suspicions. ¨And what would that be?"  
¨You already know what.¨ Erik stated.  
¨Know what?" a sly grin goes with the statement.  
"What we all want back." Erik growled, waving a hand to the rest of the people on the sheet. He knows what Charles is doing and it's not doing Erik's patience any good.  
"Even so, enlighten me."  
_My god, he's infuriating! _Erik set his lips in a tight line, biting down on the childish urge to engage in a staring contest with the amnesiac till Charles backed down. With a sigh, Erik decides to just lay it out there, ¨You already know we just want to help you and obviously we all want you to have your memories back. What would you need to negotiate about?" Erik´s brows were furrowed and Charles´ smile even cheekier_. If that was even possible._ Erik thought.  
¨Oh, I'm not as sure as you are though.¨  
Erik stared at him and projected _Stop being so cryptic!_  
¨Sure about what?¨ Erik asked warily.  
¨About getting my memories back.¨  
¨You are not sure if you want your memories back?" Repeating the sentence as if that would help bring down the incredulity of it.  
Shocked looks were spread all around.  
Charles nodded like it was the simplest question in the world. Erik´s eyes widened just a little but he continued.  
¨What is there not to be sure about? Why wouldn't you want it back? You lost some of your best memories I suppose. The bars, girls…your doctorate. It seems like the worst thing that happened to you was Cuba, which you already know about so why not?" Desperation, shock and fear overtook Erik's tongue.  
Even though he seemed a little surprised when Erik mentioned a doctorate, Charles´ smile didn't waver. But before he could answer, Raven cut in, while all the while watching Charles' reactions like a hawk.  
¨Shu-shut up Erik! He doesn't need to remember anything he doesn't want to.¨ Erik didn't have much time to think about what she said because tears started to form in Raven's eyes.  
She had noticed his surprise about the doctorate. If he didn't know about that, then that means that he doesn't have the memories that SHOULD be left forgotten.  
Charles smiled sweetly, a very different one than the cheeky, arrogant grins from before. Throwing an arm around his sister's shoulders, he cooed gently, ¨Shh, darling it's ok, everything is fine.¨  
Charles kissed her forehead.  
¨Shh…It's ok.¨  
The hug turned more personal as Raven's tears turned into full blown sobbing. Charles cradled her to his chest as she cried into his shirt. ¨You don't have to remember anything, Charles! Don't you care about what anyone tells you, you don't have to remember!¨  
She looked up at him and he swept the hair out of her eyes.  
¨I know honey. Calm your mind, yes? I won't do anything I don't want to.¨  
He gave her a reassuring smile.  
¨Ok?¨ He asked her as her breathing started to even out.  
¨Ok.¨ She wiped her nose with the back of her hands and he chuckled a little.  
Raven slapped him on the arm playfully which made him chuckle even more.  
¨What? I'm not laughing, even though you still refuse to act like a lady, cleaning your runny nose with your hand in front of an audience. Not to mention, you just hugged your brother like a little lost child.¨  
She slapped him again and he pouted playfully.  
Turning to the small group that looked upon the pair with hidden fondness, Charles kept an arm around Raven's shoulders supportively. ¨Excuse my sister for being a bit emotional right now. The deliveryman is close by, I will go fetch the food while you all talk things out.¨ Noticing the displeased expression on Erik's face, ¨Don't give me that look Erik, I didn't intentionally read your minds. I can't help but hear what you are all screaming in your minds." Charles stood up, giving Raven´s shoulder one last squeeze and headed towards the gate.  
No one saw his face turn serious as he turned around.  
And no one saw the slight tug on the corner of his lips when a thought was projected towards him. _Like having you walk away will give us any privacy._ followed by Erik´s mental grin.  
Another silent moment passed between the seated mutants before Raven broke it.  
¨He can't remember anything, Erik¨ She looked at him and then across the half-moon of people in front of her.  
Erik took a breath in but Raven, being Raven, cut in. ¨Listen Erik, we can't let him remember! He didn't know he had a doctorate, let him have that. You have no idea what he's been through, none of you do! You don't have the right to force him to remember anything.¨  
Erik didn't give her a chance to say anymore as he followed her statement quickly.  
¨Stop being so dramatic Raven, I know all about bad pasts and Charles is far from a damaged person.¨ She opened her mouth to defend her brother but he didn't back down from her sharp gaze. ¨Besides, we need him. The Charles I know would WANT his memories back, or are you saying everything would be better if he doesn't know any of us or anything that happened these past few months?¨  
¨Shut up Erik! If I'm saying he doesn't have to remember then please, let's leave it at that! I'm his sister and I know there are things that he would like to forget so let him do it. And even if he got his memory back, it wouldn't matter; he would just know what he already does. ¨ She sniffled and took in a calming breath. ¨It wouldn't make any difference if he remembers everything from his point of view or from ours would it? Shaw is dead, we stopped a war and we are all alive. He wouldn't want to join us against humanity even if he knew that so we should respect his choice, like he always respected ours. There is no reason to make him remember that his best friend put a bullet through his head. Or the Army that tried to kill us after he stopped a frigging war! Why make him remember all of that, just so he will be angry at us? Suffer knowing he was betrayed? ¨  
Erik just remained silent under her gaze. Surprisingly, it was an angry Alex who spoke next.  
¨Shut it, both of you! You don't even have the right to be talking about him like you want what is best for him. You shot him!¨ he shouted at Erik. Then to Raven, ¨And you wanted to get away from all of us…from HIM!¨ He lowered his voice at that last part, pointing in the general direction Charles went off in.  
At Raven´s surprised face, he practically spat at her. ¨For God´s sake, Raven! Of course we knew; you had been going further and further away, agreeing with Erik´s extremism and shit!"  
Raven looked around with wide eyes, putting a hand over her mouth.  
¨We all knew.¨ Hank whispered, eyes downcast.  
She just stared at Hank's sad face. He looked so betrayed and disappointed. Her hands fell to her lap and, with her head cocked to the side, she smiled a broken smile. A single tear fell, but she quickly recovered from her shock and cleaned the tear away.  
¨That's not the point.¨ Came Sean´s unexpected whisper.  
Everyone sobered up looking at his decided face.  
¨That's not the point.¨ He repeated louder. ¨I want to help the professor even if that means he won't remember me or our friendship, because that isn't what is important here. You are all being selfish talking about him like he doesn't have a choice in the matter.¨ He looked up at them. ¨First we need to know if there are any bad effects for CHARLES, not worrying about our hurt feelings.¨ He looked at Hank.  
¨Um… It's-it's hard to say.¨ Hank exhaled for the first time since the argument. ¨The brain-there is still so much we don't know about. I can't say exactly where his amnesia stems from. I don't even have any data. I have to know more about what he remembers and what he doesn't, and even then it doesn't mean I will know for certain if this is a result of the bullet, the swelling or trauma.¨ He looked at the focused gazes that lay upon him and continued. ¨The worst case scenario is if the bullet caused it, but judging by its trajectory it shouldn't have, because then we don't know what else it has damaged. He looks fine now but the symptoms he presented earlier are cause for worry. He could have also lost some important functions because of it. Only a specialist can be certain. A specialist, however, can't know about his telepathy and won't be able to factor that is. And that's also another risk: telepathy has to do with practice, emotion, and control. All are definably influenced by one's memories. There is also the possibility that the surgery had complications that the doctors didn't mention or know about.¨  
Everyone looked more worried than confused, an expression they carried when they were at the hospital.  
¨The best conclusion is that this is related to trauma which means he would be able to remember everything given enough time. But he has to WANT to remember."  
Silence  
Sean grunted and scratched his head. "Would all of you just chill out already? If we can't do anything then we just gotta treat him like we always did and help him heal.¨  
Erik nodded, surprised by Sean's objectiveness. ¨I agree, that's the best course of action. Charles has always been stubborn. If he doesn't want to remember, then us pushing the matter would just scare him away. Act like everything's normal. If there's one thing that will make him feel comfortable is the quiet life here with all of you kids supporting him."  
Alex wants the Professor to remember, but he wanted it to be known that it was Charles' choice and not Magneto's. ¨If he DOESN'T want to remember then life here is not much different…and he can still get to know us again, anyways."  
Erik shrugged.  
As if on cue to end the discussion, Charles appeared with the food.  
"So, what did I miss?" Charles said, putting the boxes onto the checkered cloth and sitting down with his back resting on a nearby tree trunk.  
_If only you knew…_ thought all of the others.

**sjl hon, thank you for the review it was lovely. Ihope you enjoyed this chap.**

**Marry Merry Christmas every one.**


	7. Chapter 7

"So, what'd I miss?" Charles said, putting the pizza boxes down onto the checkered sheet.

_If only you knew_...everyone thought.

The mood was still tense, but at Charles' arrival, everyone settled for glaring.  
¨Nothing.¨ was the spoken reply.

Charles looked at Raven knowingly and proceeded to open the flat boxes. ¨We have cheese, pepperoni, and ham with pineapple.¨ He ordered the pineapple especially for his sister because it was her favorite. Personally, he had always hated the mixture, but it was like an unwritten rule that he pretend he hadn't bought it only for her, and she pretended he didn't spoil her.

The telepath sat down with a cheese slice and started eating it lazily, ignoring the tense atmosphere or the people staring subtly at him.  
Raven slapped a pineapple slice and a cheese slice together, eating it like a sandwich. Charles wrinkled his nose playfully at that and she grinned back before taking a huge bite.

The rest of the group ended up following their actions. Sean didn't know if he wanted cheese or pepperoni, and before deciding between the two, he had an epiphany: He could have both! EUREKA!

Alex failed in his ongoing stare down with Erik. It mainly consisted of Alex staring at Erik, and Erik mostly ignoring his existence. But in Alex's head, it was a stare down. He gave up on it to tend to his grumbling stomach with a good dose of pizza.

For a few minutes they were all eating their pizzas, and staring at Charles like he would disappear if they looked away for more than five seconds. Gradually, they felt more comfortable with the idea that he wouldn't just vanish into thin air when they weren't watching him like a hawk.

In an attempt to initiate a relaxed conversation, Sean looked over the top of his third or fourth slice to try and get Charles' attention.

¨How did the delivery guy take you?¨ Sean said, indicating the slightly spotted new bandages around Charles' body.

Charles could feel the ginger's expectations: a funny story or an uncomfortable situation.  
_The Charles they think they know is not like me it seems_. Charles thought but he maintained his neutral expression.

¨He thought nothing of it.¨ Came the quick, simple reply.

¨What do you mean?¨ Asked Sean.

¨Exactly what I said.¨ Charles took another bite of his half eaten slice.

¨He means he messed with the delivery man's head.¨ Erik pitched in.

¨What I did is hardly considered 'messing with his head'.¨ Charles stated.

¨Is that so? Than how did you pay for the pizzas if you didn't have any money on you?¨ Erik asked had changed into the shirt and jeans that Raven had brought him from his room, but Erik didn't think he had any money on him at the time.

_Weren't these people my friends? they do know I'm a telepath, what did they I used it like? HMPH...Apparently they don't know me very well._  
¨I didn't pay.¨

Erik smiled humorously, hoping to go back to their normal banter. ¨Charles Xavier stealing food! I think the bullet affected more than just your memory, my friend.¨

Catching up to his intentions, Charles shrugged lightly. ¨What they don't know won't harm them. Besides, the delivery boy was hardly an innocent victim.¨

¨How so?¨

Charles grinned at him. ¨Wouldn't you like to know.¨

Alex chuckled with his mouth full. Everyone that was following their conversation like a tennis match looked at him.

¨What? It's funny! Even though the professor doesn't remember us, or him," He pointed at Erik with the pizza. "they go right back to bantering with each other. It's funny!¨He said with a smile.

Alex was relieved that Charles was still very much Charles even if he didn't remember them.

Raven joined in on the boy's chuckle, and soon so did Hank and Sean. It turned into full laughter after a second and Erik smiled softly at the tension being lifted. Charles looked intrigued.

They all relaxed after the release of emotion they had been needing so much. It had to be let out someway, and laughing had been a good outlet. Erik waited for the fit to quiet down to ask about the "negotiation" but Sean beat him to it.

¨How old are you?¨ He asked and his pale cheeks flared red. ¨I mean, I know how old you ARE but, how old do you THINK you are?¨

¨Hmm...I don't know, how old do you think I am?¨ Charles' cheeky grin was back on his face.

¨I don't know. You don't seem to remember any of us,¨ He looked at Charles with a small tint of hope and the telepath nodded, crushing his hopes. "and Raven said you didn't remember getting your doctorate.¨ Charles nodded again. "About 19?¨

Charles blocked everyone's thoughts the best he could but the pain in his head was becoming too much. He ignored it and focused on the mutants in front of him. This would be interesting. No one had tried guessing his mental age before, after all.  
¨19?¨ He raised an eyebrow ¨Are you sure?¨ He said teasingly and Sean nodded.

¨Incorrect.¨

Sean sighed dramatically, ¨20?¨

¨You can only guess once, and judging by your memories," he looked around at the people. "I suppose I'm 22 physically. How would I get a doctorate in two years?¨ He smiled indulgently at Sean.

"I don't know...I mean you ARE a genius so I just guessed it was possible."In reality Sean hadn't thought past the fact that the Professor forgot about them and hearing that made him curious and scared about just how much the man forgot about his life.

"Thank you for the compliment but cramming so much in such a short time would be unpleasant, even for me."

"But you could do it." Sean grinned. Charles left the boy without a reaction and turned to Alex, ¨Would you wish to try?¨ Sean was sulking a little but his heart wasn't in it. Seeing the professor talking to them was making him happier than he had been in days.

Alex shrugged. ¨Why not? 18!¨

Charles shook his head. He looked at Erik, smiling. ¨And you?¨  
While Erik studied him, Charles repeated the question to Hank, still doing his best to block everyone out and keep his face straight.

¨17¨ Said Erik.

¨16¨ Said Hank.

Before Charles revealed the right answer, Raven contributed with an icy tone, crushing the carefree play.¨You are exactly seventeen.¨ She took another bite and tried lightening her dark tone ¨Today is your birthday. Not today, today but the last day you remember. Right?¨

¨Very good memory, little sister.¨ Only Raven and Erik noticed the slight twitch on Charles' face.¨Apparently I have known you all for a while now. How did we meet?¨

Sean jumped at the chance of Charles remembering something.¨That's a really funny story. I was in the aquarium and I was talking to this girl and-" He proceeded to tell his mentor all about one of the most memorable days of his life.

They all shared silly little stories for a while, their worries fading with the day.  
Erik wasn't as relaxed. The fact that his body seemed lighter upon hearing Charles' occasional remarks and chuckles didn't mean a burden was being lifted off his chest. But he was amused by the stories being told, nonetheless.

As the moon settled high in the sky, illuminating the discarded pizza box and the relaxing teenagers, Sean yawned causing a chain reaction: First Alex, followed by Hank, Raven and finally Charles.

Erik felt his lids starting to droop but he did his best to keep them open. He wanted to make sure Charles was ok before going to sleep.

Charles stretched his arms over his head, his body's action moving Raven's head up slightly from where it was laying on his lap. ¨This has turned out to be a pretty nice night, hasn't it?¨

¨Sure thing, Professor¨ said a sleepy Sean before yawning a second time. Alex smiled softly and Hank whispered ¨We are all tired maybe we should head back in now and continue our lives tomorrow.¨

¨I'm kind of sleepy, too.¨ Alex admitted, moving to get up.

Sean fell and pulled Alex down as well ¨Carry me.¨ He put a leg on the other mutant, trapping Alex on the ground.

¨ARGH, let me up Sean!¨ Alex wiggled tiredly.

¨If you carry me inside, I'll let you up.¨ Sean said groggily and Alex rolled his eyes.  
¨Not gonna happen!¨

"Come on, I'm too sleepy to walk, Alex. Pleeeaaaase?"

In front of the wiggling boys, Charles laid back, with his arms supporting the back of his head, and looked at the stars, Moving off of her brother's lap and, giving him a peck on the cheek, Raven got up to stand next to Hank.

_Good night Charles, see you in the morning?_

_You can bet on it, darling._

Erik laid back and closed his eyes as well. Maybe he would have a nightmare-less night tonight.

_I can help you with that._

The corners of Erik's mouth pulled up a little at Charles' voice in his mind.  
_Get out of my head, Charles._

Charles shrugged.  
_I can still help you have a good night's sleep._

_Can you now?_

_Well, maybe not today but tomorrow certainly._

Erik could hear the teens telling them to go in soon but he waved them off.

_You know, they are going inside to give us some alone time. _Charles mused.

_Do you know why? _Erik asked.

_No I don't actually, I was hoping you would tell me that but I can always find out about it later._

Charles feels Erik's thoughts changing from playful to sullen.

_I betrayed you._

_I know. But you don't regret it._

_If I hadn't betrayed you, you wouldn't have had a bullet in your head._

_It seems so._

_Everything that happened to you has been my fault._

Charles chuckles. _You don't believe that and you still don't regret it._

Erik grins. _I don't, but the apology sounded better if I didn't blame someone else or told you it was partially your fault._

_Indeed, it does sound better when you take the blame._

A confortable silence fell between the two.

_I would have probably forgiven you._

_You don't know that. _Erik teased_._

Charles smirked. _I don't, but it sounded better than ¨I have no idea what I would do but, hey, don't be too hard on yourself."_

_How are you holding up? _Erik asks more seriously.

_I'm fine._

_I don't have to be a telepath to know you are lying Charles. You've been in pain this whole time, haven't you?_

_No I haven't._

_Liar._

They grinned.

_Why were you screaming when you woke up?_

_My mental walls were down. It's weird to talk to someone about my mind._

_You always talked to Raven about it, it should be the same thing. Are they up again?_

_Its different, and I don't talk much to her about it actually. Did you know other mutants before this group?_

_You are deflecting, but yes I knew one._

_The guy who tortured you?_

_You remember that?_

_No, it was one of the things I picked up today. Don't worry I don't intend to snoop around._

_Thank you._

Erik propped up on his elbows and so did Charles.

_The walls._

_I'm fine. You wanted to ask about my deal right?_

_Yeah._

They laid back down.

_It's very simple really; I will let you try anything you want to make me remember, but I go back to my flat whenever I want. I got that we have been living here for a while, but I like my apartment and I would feel more at ease if I could be there._

_Hmm..better not. It's not safe._

_Whatever do you mean? Is this about the beach thing?_

_Not exactly but yes. The government knows about us. They know about you too, and if you just go around unprotected, well, It wouldn't be the brightest idea._

_Even so. I'm not going to stay here, and I know how to protect myself._He tapped his head and even though Erik didn't see the gesture, he knew Charles had done it.

_Why not? If you give me a serious reason I will think about it._

_Who put you in command?_ Charles said teasingly._ I'm giving you the chance to have your friend back, but I can leave and none of you will ever find me. I don't really need your permission._

_I'll find you. _Erik said seriously. _We have our differences, but you are still my best friend._

Charles seemed unimpressed. _You wouldn't find me._

_It's not safe for you out there, and I am in charge because, mentally, you are a 17 year old child. _He smiled.

_Doesn't change the fact that you wouldn't be able to stop me._

_We can agree to disagree then, but you have to stay at the manor._

_I won't go away today but tomorrow I'm out of here._

_I'm not going to convince you, am I?_

_No, you won't._

¨I'm going inside.¨ Erik stood up and yawned. Charles smiled.

¨I will be right behind you.¨ Charles.

Erik fought the urge to swing the man's smaller body onto his shoulders and carry him to his bedroom, and then make sure that he was warm and comfortable in bed. Maybe watch over him for the night...again. Instead he turned his back on the other man and walked away, pausing only to add ¨Good night, Charles.¨

His heart clenched when he didn't get a response back.

_Give the man some space Erik, you would have never followed through with that line of thought anyway. _He thought, as a comfort to himself.

Charles finally let his façade slip away and his hands to go to his head. He started to build several temporary mental lairs in his telepathic wards.


	8. Chapter 8

Erik woke up after a reasonable amount of sleep. Six hours wasn't enough to satisfy his abused body, but it was enough to make his eyelids stop drooping. As always, Erik got up off the soft bed immediately, feeling the constant hum of the surrounding metal. In less than thirty seconds he was fully awake.

His mind replayed the latest events in his head, as if to make sure that it was not a dream. A bit more relaxed now that everything was settled in his mind, he walked to the bathroom and discarded his grey cotton shirt, sweat pants and the boots he has been wearing since...forever. His habit of sleeping with boots on was one he would probably never let go of.

Erik could remember the night, in vivid detail, that Charles asked him about his boots.

¨If anyone decides to barge into the room, I will feel it. I assure you we are completely safe.¨ Charles whispered soothingly on the hotel room chair with a book on his lap.

They had been driving for a day and a half, so they stopped for the night per Charles' insistence on getting some rest. He had said they could go to a more heartwarming place, but Erik vetoed the idea, knowing it meant going to a fancy place where he wouldn't feel at ease. So they ended up at a rundown motel on the side of the road.

¨I like to sleep with them on, just let it go.¨ Erik snapped quietly at the other man. Though Charles did shut his mouth for a minute, it didn't last.

¨I can help you, you know?¨

¨With what?¨

Charles looked at his feet pointedly.

¨I don't need you to fix me Charles, and it is hardly a problem. I like my feet warm.¨

¨Is that so?¨

¨It is, now shut up.¨ Erik lay on the bed, flicking the lights off with his powers. To which Charles made an adorably annoyed sound directed at the metal bender for disrupting his reading.

¨You wish me to believe that, the fact that you almost never take off your shoes, means that you don't appreciate the cold?¨

¨Let it go Charles, I'm tired.¨ Erik hid his smirk at Charles' polished thought _Appreciate the cold._

¨If you wanted me to forget about it, you shouldn't have lied to me.¨ He stated, matter of factly.

Erik groaned and rearranged his pillow.

¨Be civil Erik, groaning is hardly a convincing argument.¨ In the dark, Erik could almost feel the man smirking beside him, holding his book over his crossed legs. He knew he had managed to irritate Erik. Since the very beginning, Charles had gotten on Erik's nerves.

¨If you need me to spell it out for you, I can tell you why you keep them on. Will that convince you that you have a problem?¨

Erik sighed. ¨If I take it off, will you shut up?¨

¨Certainly.¨ Charles answered in that smug, confident, arrogant, teasing way that always got under Erik's skin. Already sitting up, Erik removed his boots and threw the seated figure in the dark room with a "now-leave-me-alone" look.

¨Done, now sleep!¨ Erik was about to lie back down when...

¨What about the socks?¨

Erik groaned.¨What about them?¨

¨Take them off too!¨

¨We agreed on the boots! Are you saying that sleeping with socks on is some kind of important sign as well?¨

¨I'm not implying anything, I just want you to admit that you have a problem.¨

¨Because I want to sleep with my socks on?¨

Charles nodded, ¨Because you sleep with your socks on.¨

Erik flicked the lights on. ¨This is ridiculous Charles, why do you want me to have a problem in the first place?¨

¨I don't WANT you to have a problem. You have many issues already, the shoe thing is only one of them. A tiny one, I admit, but with major roots and it would be a good first step to your rehabilitation if you let me help.¨ was Charles' patient reply.

¨If I let you fix me, you mean.¨ Erik was fully annoyed, as of now.

¨You know what I mean.¨ Charles waved it off. ¨The matter is, you have issues that need to be resolved and now is as good of a time as any to start doing so.¨

¨I don't need to be fixed Charles. I'm not broken, I have a goal and I will achieve it. Sleeping with my shoes on or off won't change anything.¨

¨It isn't about changing your situation, it's about how you feel. Your shoes, for example, represent your fear of the surroundings, just like the multiple knives you hide on your body. They are a physical manifestation of what you believe the world to be like.¨

That's because I KNOW how the world is like.

Erik crossed his arms over his chest. ¨If you know me so well,¨ He said shaking his head, mockingly. ¨why do you need me to talk about it? What does it matter to you if I sleep with my shoes on or not?¨

¨It's not about what it does to me, but what it does to you. You think someone will barge through the door every time you let yorself relax, so you don't. You continue to be ready for combat every second of the day, so you keep your shoes on.¨

¨Great interpretation, Charles but even if that was true, which it isn't b-¨

Charles cut in ¨It is.¨

Erik continued on over him, ¨Even IF that was true, then what? Is sleeping without shoes going to help me kill Shaw?¨

¨No but-¨

Erik talked over him again, ¨Then it is none of your business and I don't want to discuss it.¨ Erik flicked the lights off.

Charles got up, stomped to the lamp and flicked it on.

¨Let's have a drink.¨

¨What? Argh, Charles go to sleep! What has gotten into you, all of a sudden?¨

¨Nothing.¨ His cheeks turned a light shade of pink. ¨I'm just not tired. Come on, there is a bar about five minutes down the road.¨

¨The keys are by the door. Have a good night and come back by seven tomorrow morning.¨ Erik closed his eyes and Charles shook him by the shoulders, irritating the man even more.

¨Mein Got, Charles! How much more annoying can you get?¨ Erik didn't miss the slight desperation in Charles' face so he got up.

Knowing he had finally won, Charles was by the door, properly attired, by the time Erik had stopped groaning.

¨Don't forget your shoes.¨ Charles grinned devilishly. They spent the whole night at the bar.

Coming back to the present time, Erik turned off the water and picked up the fluffy white towel by the bathroom door. He couldn't help but smile softly at the memory. It felt like years ago when that happened, but in reality, it had been only a few short months. That had been the first night Erik slept without his shoes in a long while...he had kept the socks though. It seemed proper to remember it since Charles couldn't anymore.

He knew Charles was right about him having issues, but he didn't like to admit it. It took some time for him to realize that lying to Charles just didn't work. It wasn't because he was a telepath, but because he cared about what the truth meant. Charles was always analyzing things. So much so, that it got to the point that it irritated Erik to no end. But it was also intriguing and charming how he could turn small talk into a philosophically changing experience or vice versa. Now, the Professor was gone and a teenage Charles Xavier was in his place. And the most promising way to get the Professor back was to play House, so Erik dressed himself and stepped down the stairs. It was terrifying to feel his stomach in a tight knot and his hands sweat upon the prospect of being the one trying to gain the trust of the man who had so willingly given it to them all in the past.

With a shock, Erik realized how much Charles had done more for him than he had ever given him credit for. He had basically built their entire friendship by breaking down Erik's defenses one by one. And with a sinking feeling, Erik realized another thing; the new...old...whatever Charles probably wouldn't have the same enthusiasm.

He got to the kitchen and was immediately on alert by the atmosphere.  
¨What is this about?¨Erik asked the teens gathered around the table, drinking coffee with depressed faces.

¨Charles isn't here.¨

Erik's heart missed a beat and then, as if to make up for it, started to hammer in his chest.

¨Not here.¨ Raven confirmed, entering the kitchen from the sitting room, or the TV room as the teens liked to call it, and Erik noticed with an alarming surprise that he hadn't even noticed her absence.

The silence was frustrating.

¨What does that mean?! Is he missing? Was he kidnapped? What do you know about it?¨ The group didn't seem panicked, so they must know something.

Raven sighed, ¨He went back to his flat, he said this isn't his home.¨ If the fact that the Professor didn't remember them was hard, that sentence was what would cause Sean and Alex to go back to their rooms later and vent out their frustrations through violence or tears. Hank would throw himself back into his work, as always.

Differently from the others she looked more troubled than sad. ¨I figured he would be there so I called him.¨ She continued explaining because of his furrowed brows.

¨Stupid teenage Charles.¨ Erik muttered under his breath and sighed, putting a hand up to massage the bridge of his nose.

¨I'm gonna go get him, it's not safe out there. Give me his address.¨ He commanded Raven, who rolled her eyes then proceeded to write it on a piece of paper. But before letting it touch his fingers, she recoiled it.

¨I'm going with you.¨ At that, the teens decided to jump in.

¨Me too!¨

¨I'm going!¨

Hank gripped his mug so tight, it shattered under the pressure.

¨No, you won't. I'm going alone.¨ He used Raven's distraction to take the paper out of her hand. ¨Stay here and don't cause trouble! Don't even think about following me or sneaking out after, either! Think about what the Professor would want. Put you in danger by leaving the mansion unprotected to go see his younger version or keep safe and support him when he gets back?¨

With that he turned around and walked out of the door to the garage borrowing one of the manor's motorcycles. Later, he would notice he forgot his coat, but to hell with it, this is Charles' safety they were talking about.


	9. Chapter 9

As the occupants of the mansion fell into REM sleep, Charles couldn't keep his cool anymore. Even though he had promised Raven and Erik he would stay in the mansion for the night, Charles was ready to bolt out of there. There was an ongoing battle in his head between two voices.

One said that he should get out of this crazy and stressful environment before he has an anxiety attack. His head felt like it was splitting open and the others wouldn't notice until morning anyways, so he'll have plenty of time to come back.

The other, more reasonable, part of his brain told him "Stay here! You've just suffered a dangerous head wound, had brain surgery, been in a coma for quite awhile, and not to mention the fact that you JUST LOST FIVE YEARS OF SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT!"

Sadly, or happily depending on what point of view you are viewing it, a third voice joined the party and added the deciding argument to the discussion: "The house freaks you out and there is no way he you will be able to get any sleep or rest near it."

Charles sat up from the spot on the lawn in which he had been laying on for the last hour, having a mental argument with himself.

Putting two fingers to his temple, he sent a mental order to the teen with the most susceptible mind inside the house. Given the choice, Charles won't get near the Mansion more than necessary. Concentrating on the blonde teenager, Alex if he wasn't mistaken, Charles mentally urged him to walk to the telephone in the sitting room closest to the boy's bedroom. Looking through Alex's eyes, Charles had Alex dial a car service.

As Charles thought the words, the blonde boy said it.

¨Hello, I'm calling from the Xavier manor.¨

¨Yes sir. What can Jonathan's Car Service do for you tonight?¨

¨We are requesting a car to be sent to the gate as quickly as possible."

¨Certainly, sir. It will be there in fifteen minutes.¨

¨The owner of the house appreciates your services.¨

¨Jonathan's Car Service thanks you for the preference, as always.¨

The call ended and Charles accompanied the young man to his room, mentally dictating the directions and making the boy go back to sleep in blissful ignorance. Alex wouldn't remember a thing the next morning.

Charles was not surprised that the car service managed to remember the family name after so many years, the Xavier's were a difficult bunch to forget. He waited for the time it took for the driver to get into his mental range, thinking of how glad he was to be in a T-shirt and jeans. It was a pretty cold night for…_What month is it?_

He felt the driver's mind enter his field. Counting down in his head to distract him from the horrible pain crushing his skull, Charles walked towards the gate just as the car came into view. Not waiting for the driver to get out and open the door for him, as is customary, Charles slid into the spacious car and gave the man the address. Thankfully, the driver could tell that Charles was not in the mood to talk so he was able to spend the whole car ride staring out the window. He looked at all of the trees and was shocked by how little things changed in five years. There wasn't a single new house or tree in the path to the city.

New York hadn't changed much either, it seemed. The roads were practically the same and the way to his flat contained the same city-smell that he had always attributed to it. All in all, the only thing that had a startling difference between the night he went to Harriet's house, yesterday that wasn't yesterday but five years ago yesterday, were the bandages around his neck and head and the cruel amount of thoughts beating his head open.

He was no stranger to thoughts invading his head, but his defenses were extremely low even with the wards he had just re-built. The driver was a decent human being, fortunately. He had stolen and beaten up some people in his life, but he had no major issues. And being the constant mind during the 40 minute drive, Charles was even pleased that he was the driver.

He knew many things about the driver's life, Loui was a single kid, has a girlfriend he wants to marry, is working to provide for his not yet conceived children, and his mother. His father was a low rank soldier who died in the war. War-apparently Charles had lost some major developments on that aspect. He knew many many things about the worker but it was not even close to enough to distract him from other thoughts or the pain shooting from his head to the rest of his body.

Thankfully, before Charles could lose control from the pain, the car finally pulled up to his apartment.

_Oh thank God._ Charles sighed in relief.

He couldn't get out of the car fast enough, throwing a quick Thank You to the driver before mentally telling the driver to forget about the strangeness of his behaviour.

Charles ran to his second floor flat, tripping on the stairs only once. One hand constantly on his head as if he could physically push away the random thoughts and memories of the hundreds of people around him. With his blurred vision it was a miracle that he was even able to grab his spare key from the hiding spot and open the door to his room.

Stumbling inside, the telepath didn't care to close the door before going to the book shelf. Desperately, he searched for Les Miserables. He was not in the mood to read, as the book was not a book at all. It was hollow inside, a hiding spot for his secrets. Almost losing consciousness, a tear rolled down his face without his consent.

_Stay awake, if you lose consciousness you will be flooded again._

He was sure he was repeating words in his head so he could stay awake, but he collapsed to the floor anyways. The visions were starting to take over. The boundaries between his mind and the minds of those around him were crumbling.

He was in an alley. A fat thug holding a cigarette in front of him. He was sitting on the floor, ribs hurting, and one of his eyes was swollen shut.

¨Tell me where it is, Johnny¨ The fat man said, twirling a knife in his hands. Charles shook his head.

¨I can't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please!¨

The man shook his head.¨That's not what I wanted to hear.¨ He said it with a theatrical tone and smiled.¨Put him in the van.¨

Other people entered Charles' field of vision. He wanted to get up and run but his body wouldn't stop shaking.

_I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. No-!_

The man's voice blended with a loud popping sound. Distantly, he heard a familiar voice saying something that sounded like

_Stay awake!_

Charles pushed himself out of the alley, searching blindly for HIS body but it wasn't there.

He was at a bar. A man was in front of him. Charles loves this man. Charles hates this man. Charles wants to grab the bottle of champagne the man is holding and break it on his head. Charles smiles politely and lies _¨I love you James.¨ _

_Stay- ke. Consciousness_

Charles is looking up at his mother but she doesn't look back. He can feel her happiness. Charles' mother loves this man.

¨Charles, you remember Kurt, your father's coworker. We are to be married next week, he is going to live with us.¨ Charles can see the shadow in the man's head and it is scary. He wants to run away and hide.

Charles smiles at him._ ¨How do yo-¨_

_Miserable. Miserables._

Charles is in a restaurant. Charles can't feel his face. Charles is in a flower shop. Charles is in a pub, he wants another drink. Charles is in a cab and his wife won't stop arguing. Maybe he will kill her. Charles' feet hurt, his stomach is so empty and his mouth so dry, if he could just-

_AWAKE! _He hears a whisper and tries to hold on to that voice, to go as close as possible. The voice is so familiar, who does that voice belong to? Who am I? Isn't that my voi-

_STAY CONSCIOUS!_

Charles is on the floor, gasping for air and clutching his head.

_Les Miserables._

His throat is dry and he can't get enough air in his lungs. The man grips onto the book shelves and gets up, scrambling to his feet and searching for a book.

_What book?_

He sees it and it all makes sense. His mental walls are down, he is a telepath, he needs to focus. The telepath reaches for the hollow book.

_I'm searching for the meth. The drugs are inside the book. Miserable._

His hands frantically open the book, grabbing one of the transparent little bags out of it. The hum in his head gets louder and louder by the second. Holding the bag labelled M up to his eyes to make sure it's the right one, he forces his shaking hands to hold steady as he dips a finger into the opening and into the powder. Holding his finger up to his nose, he inhales the thin film of powder around his appendage. It takes about three or more sniffs and something close to a minute for it to take effect. It couldn't have come soon enough.

Now that he was more focused and his mind was able enough, Charles dropped the bag on the corner of the table. Tipping the bag he watches as it forms something that resembles a line by the corner of the table, he uses his fingers to make it a thing line out of it and puts a finger closing one of his nostrils, he inhales the white powder through the other. He can feel the drug burning its way through his body. The rush is properly effective this time and he can put his mind to work. He focuses solely on what he has to do and on why he has to do it.

_I have to block it or else I'm going to drown in it! Build it from the ground up. Every time you put a block in it, it fills another hole. Take your time. Build it from the ground up and repeat until the hum stops. Repeat until it stops hurting._

His thoughts blend with other people's thoughts, completely unorganized but he continues on repeating the same old pattern.

_Block. Build. Stop. Mind. Thought. Hurt. Pain. Block. Wall. Mind. Control._  
_Peace. Control. Mind. Block. Repeat._

_Repeat._

_Repeat._

**Im very sorry for taking so long to post this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.**


	10. Chapter 10

After God knows how long, the sun hurts Charles' sensitive eyes and, for the first time, he notices it is morning. Looking around the room, he tries to remember if Raven would be coming home soon so he'll have time to put the drugs away.

_Oh, that's right. She's not here._

He has the insane urge to chuckle at that, happiness flooding his mind for the moment. The high is still...well...high.

His chuckle actually leaves his mouth at the thought that the minds bothering him are only the minds of the buildings surrounding him right now. The feeling of accomplishing something as important as building the walls, days' worth of barriers, all in one single night was awesome. It feels great. It feels amazing!

The young man is feeling invincible, sitting in his living room with the four incredible mental walls he built through the night, adding onto the two he had built in the manor. With the six sturdy wards keeping him sane, he relishes in this incredible feat with a lazy smile on his face.

Laying back and spreading his arms across the back of the couch, Charles feels a wet substance dripping onto his upturned mouth. It was irritating him, so he wipes a bare arm across his face to clean it off, only to see a line of red going across his arm. Lines of blood were coming out of his nose and, judging by the itching in his ears, probably from there too. He doesn't care that the physical warning signs of pushing his body too far are showing. He just built 6 walls, all in a matter of hours, and he feels like he's in heaven!

_I can relax now._

His body and mind felt like it had just run a 5K marathon, but he was too relaxed and too tired to get up from the couch, clean up and get some sleep. He continues to tap out a small rhythm on the couch with his right hand, humming a soft tune, and watching the sun reach its peak.

Erik gets off of the motorcycle and puts the keys in his jean's pocket.  
The air is warmer inside the building, but he can't stop shaking from the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Even though he knew the address by heart now, he checks it again because his nerves won't calm down.

_Charles is in danger.__Apt 203._

He is beyond worried. His heart hammers in his chest and his stomach is twisted into a tight knot because he is scared that all he'll find in 203 is an empty room. He's petrified that Charles had kept his threat from the night before and disappeared. The telepath is right, if he didn't want to be found, no one would find him.

Taking the stairs to the second floor two steps at a time, Erik rounds the corner and tightens his hands into fists. If he was petrified before, he's absolutely horrified now! The door marked 203 is cracked open. Ignoring the years of training, Erik pushes open the door to the apartment, calling Charles' name in desperation.

The sight that greets him causes his heart to miss a beat. The first thing he notices about the man on the couch is the blood. In a second, Erik is kneeling beside the glassy eyed telepath. Trained eyes search the room but there is no sign of an attack or intrusion.

¨What happened?!¨ Charles seems OK. Better than in the mansion actually, there's some color on his cheeks.

Charles doesn't even try to get his head around what the man was talking about, because something told him it was easier to hide the drugs than to deal with the man later. So he focused his mind into forming a reply, discreetly picking up the zip lock bags from the couch in his right hand and sticking them behind his back.

"Whatever do you mean?"

Erik's heart rate is starting to slow down and he feels silly for having such a dramatic reaction, but to be fair, the man was bleeding quite profusely.

¨You are bleeding.¨

Charles uses his left hand to clean the constant stream from his nose with his shirt.  
_  
_  
_Charles is right handed._Erik thinks.

To most people that wouldn't matter, but Erik is not most people. He can feel something is wrong; Charles's smile is a tad bit too forced, and his eyes are glazed over. He scans the room again and he sees the open fake book on the floor along with the contents. His eyes widen.  
_  
_  
_Is that -?!_  
_  
_  
_Shit._  
_  
_  
Erik hears the cuss in his head and Charles puts a hand to his mouth.

¨I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. I do apologize for my rudeness.¨

_Who cares about rudeness Charles!_  
_  
_  
¨What the hell are you thinking?¨ He screams at the telepath. Erik's reaction seems to shock Charles but the brunette doesn't look ashamed. Instead his eyes and smile turn predatory.

¨Right now I'm thinking that turtle neck does wonders for your green eyes but your birthday suit would be far more enhancing.¨ Charles put his cherry bottom lip between his teeth and, tasting the coppery blood, he chuckles. ¨And that this blood doesn't help me get in your pants.¨

Erik's wide eyes follow the other man's movements as he stands up and walks away, not missing the little bag in his right hand.

Charles practically floats to the bathroom, still feeling like a million bucks. Meth high was always his favorite because it lasted longer. It's a shame it is so addictive or else he would have no qualms about doing it more often. He turns the water in the sink on and watches, hypnotized, as the blood on his arms and hands turn to pink before fading into nothingness. He splashes the water onto his face to clean it up and is once again entranced by the multitude of colors dotting the sink. Looking into the mirror, Charles raises up his hands to take off the carefully placed bandages and dips his head under the running faucet.

The dripping water soaks the bandages on his neck so he starts to pull on it. Before he could get the first tape off, a hand gently pulls his away. Charles turned his gaze up to meet Erik's and protest but the look of determination in the older man's face told him that Erik needs this. He lets the older man slowly tend to his wounds.

As the man took care of his neck, with a tenderness he had never been treated with before, Charles finds himself staring at the other man's face and following its movements. His gaze focused on the little changes that flitted across the man's face as Erik saw the wound and turned sour, mouth a tight line. The German man moistened a towel and brought it to his neck, treating the wound so carefully that Charles felt embarrassed under such a loving stare. Love-that was the only word for it and Charles didn't know what to do with that information. The man loved his older version, not him, remember that.

¨I don't break, you know.¨ He teased Erik, looking at the sink and avoiding the man's eyes.

¨I know you are strong.¨

Charles snickered, ¨ Never lie to a telepath.¨

Erik smiled softly back.

¨Do you have a first aid kit?¨

¨Under the sink.¨ He said, crouching to get it before Erik could do anything. He was used to taking care of his own injuries and it was downright embarrassing having someone in the same room, let alone taking care of his wound for him. He grabbed the box with both hands and moved to get up, wincing as his neck wound irritated him by going from dull to sharp pain in a movement. Erik took the heavy box with one hand, _Show off,_and put it on the sink counter. Without any word, he opened it and arranged things to his liking.

Knowing the high would fade soon, Charles rested his hip on the sink, tapping his fingers on the counter and closed his eyes to enjoy the rest of it. Erik seemed like a nice fellow, very hot too. For no apparent reason, Charles felt good around him. Not comfortable like with Raven, but the man's mind was a low humming presence-comforting and nightmarish at the same time.  
_Interesting._That's the only way that Charles could describe such a strong and tortured mind...a rare combination.

As Erik worked, Charles tilted his head down a bit so that his neck was fully exposed to the man's administrations. As he worked his hands gently around Charles' throat, the urge to place his lips on that exposed skin and suck was hastily squashed down. Right now, Charles was like a frightened animal. Any quick or unexpected movement would send him off running, or even worse, fighting back. When Charles, in his high, started humming a small tune the vibrations worked its way from his throat and onto Erik's fingers. From the fingers, those little vibrations traveled down Erik's body to a very personal area of his lower torso. _Goddamn it, Charles! Do you even know what you're doing to me?! OK! Think of something else...uh...puppies, cold showers, J. Edgar Hoover, SHAW! *sigh* ok..._

The patching up had taken longer than any other in his life. It had been so tender and loving that Charles almost moaned when Erik's warm and calloused hands left his skin. Erik raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing of it. After Charles regained some of his posture, he turned towards Erik only to find that they were so close that their chests were almost touching.

¨I wasn't kidding, you know?¨

¨About me being hot?¨ Erik grinned as if dismissing it but Charles could see the flame behind his eyes and the fact that he hadn't forgotten it counted for something. ¨I know...unfortunately for you, I'm not into 17 year old junkies.¨ All of a sudden the playful tone had gone out the window.

Charles sighed but noticed the absence of the word BOY in that statement.

¨Alrighty then.¨ He walked out of the room, tugging at the spoiled shirt and going to his bedroom. Charles closed the door on Erik's face.

"No peaking." Charles said teasingly.

Erik waited for Charles while scanning the room, the blood dirtied leather sofa and the white powder stains on the half empty table. Before he could really look at the details Charles left the room and hurried to the fallen book by the shelve.

"I'm going out,¨ Charles put the meth bag safely back inside the book with its companions and shoved Les Miserables into its space on the shelf. ¨Leave the key under the rug, yes?¨

Erik was a bit taken back by that statement but when Charles was by the door, Erik grabbed his wrist.¨YOU are not going anywhere, WE are going back to the manor.¨ Charles' mask cracked for the briefest of moments. Erik didn't notice.  
¨Is this another lecture about safety?¨ The younger man teased and Erik shook his head.

¨I don't lecture, that's your job. I state the truth and act on it.¨ Before Charles could say anymore, Erik swept him off his feet and threw the smaller man over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He froze on the second step, Charles' fingers were on his temple behind Erik's back.

Charles' tone changed from one of playfulness to deadly in a matter of seconds, ¨I am not going back there, and my future-friend-patience-privilege is wearing off. If you dare try to make me do anything again, let's say like getting me back in that manor, I'm going to make you forget your own name and a couple of other important things you wouldn't want to live without. Now put me down!¨

Erik's body relaxed and his face immediately screwed up tight.  
¨Did you just threaten me?¨_Talk about a rebellious faze, it looks like Charles was a hell of a teenager._

Charles was all smiles again, the harsh tone from a second ago gone.  
¨Very perceptive.¨ Charles said mockingly. Clapping his hands together, "Now, you can either come have a drink with me or you can leave and don't bother coming back.¨Charles opened the door wider and stepped out.

**Thank you very much for reading and please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

Erik crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Charles' back with an eyebrow raised in disbelief and frustration.

"And where, exactly, do you plan to go drinking at 10 in the morning?"

Charles grinned, ¨Who said I had a plan?¨

¨Is that why we are walking with no apparent destination, then?¨

¨Very observant.¨ Charles continued walking in his stiff way, left hand twitching.

Erik was looking at him intently. Once again, just like he had been doing for the past couple days, Erik resisted the sudden urge to grab the younger man, put him into a steel bubble and hide him away from all the horrors of the outside world.

¨Stop this Charles.¨ Erik leaned into the space separating them and grabbed Charles' wrist, pulling him to a stop.

¨No need to be rough, darling, you can get in my pants whenever you want. Just not before I get a drink, yes?" He said humorously with that lopsided grin of his. It was incredible how Charles could say things in such a light, controlled tone as if everything was normal and Erik was the one in the wrong by not humoring him in this situation.

¨Stop it Charles, stop acting like this! If you want to get a drink, I'll drink with you – a nice fancy scotch of your liking. But let's do so in a place we aren't so exposed. We are sitting ducks out here. Come back to the mansion with me.¨ _You already lashed out enough with the drug thing. I can't even believe you do drugs in the first place. *sigh* Stop it! Don't think about that right now, let it go. Cross that bridge when we get to it. First get Charles back to the mansion._

¨You know I heard everything you just thought, right?¨ Charles tilted his head, amused.

¨Stay out of my head.¨

¨Let my wrist go.¨

¨Come back to your fucking house.¨

¨Buy me a drink.¨

¨Stop being so infuriating.¨

¨Stop forcing me to do something I do not wish to.¨

They glared at each other for a few seconds in stubborn silence.

Exasperated, Erik let go of Charles' wrist and threw up his hands. ¨I don't know what to do, Charles! I already told you it's not safe being out here! You are alone and defenseless, for God's sake.¨

¨I'm hardly defenseless and I'm not alone. The city happens to have many people in it, if you haven't noticed.¨ It was Charles' turn to cross his arms.

¨And how exactly would that help you? I hope you are not as naïve as to think some stranger would actually care enough to intervene or save you.¨

¨I know for a fact that you know of my telepathic abilities, so it is a mystery how you can't answer yourself.¨

¨What do you mean?¨

¨I can make anyone come and save me.¨ He stated with a sigh. ¨Not that I would need to, since I would have felt my aggressor's intentions and avoided that altercation in the first place. Oh, the possibilities are endless so, as I have said, I am hardly defenseless.¨ He walked off, making a right on the next street.

Erik followed even more confused.

_So teenage Charles is not only a junkie, but he differs so much from older Charles that he has no qualms about putting the lives of innocent humans at risk to save himself? I don't buy it._

Charles continued walking.

At 10 in the morning, Erik had no idea where Charles would find an open pub, so Erik did the only thing he could do: he dutifully followed the tiny professor to wherever he decided he wanted to go, taking the moment to admire the muscles moving underneath the thin button up shirt that sticked to the sweaty skin beneath it. He felt a pang in his heart at the little patch of exposed skin, showing a bruised nape. He knows that the red around the patch escalates to a deep purple and a stitched up wound.

This knowledge hurts. If he had his way, Charles wouldn't have a single scar on his body. But now he has one, two actually, and it was because of Erik that they were there.

That train of thought led to Erik imagining about more intimate things. Like what it would be like to run his hands up and down that slim torso. To kiss those red lips, while pressing his body up against – _Snap out of it! _Shaking his head to focus on the matter at hand, Erik comes to a stop alongside Charles.

"We are here.¨ Erik looked from Charles to the closed door in front of them.

"And you should really stop projecting so much. Besides, I don't mind the scar.¨Charles winked at an embarrassed Erik.

_It's not like it makes any difference. _Charles threw that thought away and walked to the locked door. He smiled a little and called out "Paola?! Open up, dear! I need a favor!"

Erik stared at Charles, contemplating whether Charles was delirious or not. He wanted to shake and yell at the man that he shouldn't be doing drugs, but who was he to warn anyone of wreckless behaviors? His train of thought was gladly interrupted by the door being pulled open.

A woman dressed in a black shirt, one size too big for her, stood in the doorway. With wide eyes and slightly open mouth, she examined Charles from head to toe. After a second, she broke out of her daze and they shared a look, both grinning sexily. Erik was ashamed to say that they would make a beautiful couple if they were to be together. His brows furrowed when the girl jumped into Charles' arms and hugged him with all her might.

¨Charles!¨ She breathed and buried her head into his shoulder as Charles hugged her, although not nearly with the same enthusiasm.

¨YOU STUPID IDIOT ASSHOLE, where the hell have you been?!¨

¨Around.¨ Charles answered vaguely, breaking the hug. ¨I do believe this is when you invite us in.¨

¨Oh sugar, you will regret saying that. Today is Sunday so you know what that means.¨ She winked, turned around and walked in, leaving the door open for them.

_She means she's fixing her hangover with some "hair of the dog". _Charles explained in response to the inquisitive look Erik threw him.

Charles walked in without missing a beat. Erik stepped forward cautiously, looking behind him before turning back to enter the room and close the door. When it didn't look like Charles nor the woman would turn the lights on, Erik flipped the switch next to the door.

¨NO!¨Charles and Paola scolded in unison. The light quickly irritated the eyes of the two occupants that were recovering, one from alcohol and the other from a drug-induced high.

Erik flicked it off and they sighed. The living room they stepped into was, by no means, luxurious. But it had a comfy, lived in feeling that only humble households could hold. A couch sat in the middle of the room facing a tiny TV and a well used arm chair rested next to the couch.

¨How does one of Charles Xavier's companions not know of the 'light rule'?¨

¨It is not a rule, darling."

She smiled. ¨If I say it is a rule, it's a rule. We are under my roof, after all.¨

He smiled back.¨As you wish, your highness.¨ Charles bowed a little as a jest. Turning to the man leaning on the wall next to the door, "Erik, this is Paola. She's an old friend of mine. Paola, this is Erik. He's, apparently, also an old friend of mine."

The mood sullied a little.

¨What are you doing here, Charles? You just disappeared, all of a sudden.¨ She took a seat in the armchair, gesturing to the couch in front of her for Charles to sit.

¨Would you believe me if I told you I missed you?¨

She smiled. ¨If it's you, I would probably buy it. But that isn't why you came back, also all of a sudden, is it? Are you here because you miss her? I miss her too, especially around this time of year.¨ She looked down, her eyes watery.

A small spark of jealousy wormed its way in again and Erik had to squash it down before it grew bigger. Who is this woman that Charles misses so much?

¨So she IS dead, then?"

¨Don't joke about this, Charles!¨ She snapped her head up to glare at him.

¨I'm not joking, hon." he said softly. "Can you tell me what happened?¨

¨What do you mean?¨

¨I need you to tell me what happened because...I don't remember." Charles ducked his head, a bit embarrassed to be asking something this awkward.

She laughed in disbelief for a full second before noticing the damp mood taking over the room.

¨What do you mean? You're not joking, right?¨ She looked at him with wide eyes. Seems like that look has been happening a lot around him lately.

He smiled sheepishly, ¨This is not a joke.¨

¨How can you not remember th.. – it? If you don't remember her, then how do you remember me?¨ She looked at him confused.

¨You did notice I have a bandaged head, right?¨ He asked, smiling.

She pouted and crossed her arms. ¨Of course I noticed, I'm not blind. But I didn't think much of it cause you were always bandaged up, anyways."

Erik frowned at that. _What does she mean, "ALWAYS bandaged up?"_

If Charles heard Erik's thought, he did not show it.

"Spit it out. What happened this time?¨

¨Nothing much, the usual.¨

She glared at him with a head cocked, ¨Don't try to act like I'm stupid, Charles.¨

He smiled. ¨Basically, I hurt my head and forgot some details about my life. Now, when are you going to tell me what I want to know?" Erik scoffed mentally at the explanation and Charles ignored him.

¨After you get your foot out of your ass and tell me. Exactly what tiny details did you forget?¨

Charles considered the question and decided it would be easier to just answer truthfully.

¨I forgot everything after my seventeenth birthday.¨

Her face went from worried, to extreme shock, and then settled on sadness. Erik thought it looked more like pity than sadness, but he was too busy watching Charles to judge it correctly. Charles' face didn't show one sign of emotion and that was terrifying. Erik had seen it like that only once and he never wanted to see it again.

¨You aren't kidding, are you?" she cried.

¨No."

¨You sure?¨

¨I'm serious, hon. Now can you tell me what happened to her so we can have a drink?¨

¨You're high, aren't you?¨She looked at him pointedly. He didn't react.

¨You stopped doing that type of stuff, but I guess you don't remember stopping.¨

¨I did know actually. Now, can you tell me about her please?¨

¨Maybe you should call your annoying sister over.¨ She made a face.

¨Hon, I like you. But if you continue deflecting it I might just get the information out, myself.¨ Charles pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers

_Does she know of your mutation?_

¨You are as high as a kite, aren't you?¨

He didn't answer either question.

¨You used to be really patient, you know. Unless you were on meth, or coke, or paper, or...well, anyway, if you are in that condition I don't think I should tell you.¨ Erik's eyebrow twitched.

_You do this often then?_

_Erik, don't interrupt._

¨I am very patient, my dear, but waking up to the future has been rather stressing.¨

¨'Rather stressing', that is putting it lightly. You flipped out after sh-¨ Sigh ¨Even if I tell you to call that Raven chick, you won't. So discussing this only makes it harder.¨ She passed an unsteady hand through her hair and a tear rolled down her cheek. ¨You just had to go on and lose your memory, didn't you!¨ she was shaking rather disturbingly. ¨FUCK!¨

Tension, sorrow and regret rolled off of her in waves, crashing into Charles like a hurricane. He couldn't block her even if he wanted to. He needed to know what the hell happened to his friend that had shocked him so much. The second Raven had predicted his age, he could hear Raven's conflicted thoughts in her head. _How can I tell him that Harriet is dead? Should I even tell him? Will he be able to handle it?_

With the many distractions that came after waking from his coma, he hadn't caught the why or how of Harriet's death. He had wanted to go into Raven's mind and find out about it immediately, but his promise and his barely functioning brain were rather difficult obstacles to overcome. After getting himself pulled together as best as time allowed, he had come straight to Harriet's place.

It wasn't until ten minutes ago, when a five years older Paola opened the door, did the situation sunk in completely.

Watching Paola's disturbed form shaking in her chair, Charles' own emotions and control started to slip. _Stop it. Focus. Calm. Centered. Your own own feelings. Focus!_

He had two choices; He could focus on keeping up the mental barriers in his psyche, or let his conscience go to hell and dive right into Paola's head for the information. The latter was the most tempting. Weighing his options, Charles decided on trying the more noble option of the two. If that failed, then ethics be damned.

He watched as Harriet's little sister got up and went to the kitchen, thinking to herself how scared she was of him flipping out like last time.

_What does she mean by 'flip out'? I like Harriet but I'm not so attached to her that I would 'flip out'."_

He had the urgent need to sigh but he didn't do it. It was ingrained in him to be proper. He got up from the couch, eyed Erik for the tiniest of moments, and followed the girl into the kitchen._Woman...she is a woman now. _For Charles it was weird to think of her that way. To him she is still Harriet's thirteen year old sister who was always an obstacle to their partying ways.

In the silence, Charles was pulled into not only just Paola's and Erik's minds, but also by the man sleeping upstairs and the pedestrians' presence passing by the house as well. Shaking his head, Charles channeled his focus and concentration to separating the thoughts and emotions that were actually from him and shutting everyone else out.

¨Are you ready to tell me now?¨ _She isn't ready._

¨Of course I'm not ready.¨ She gulped from a bottle of scotch she grabbed.

_She has her sister's good taste. _Charles felt a tug on his lips but didn't let it spread.

¨Stop it, Charles! Whenever you look at someone that way they end up dying or something."

Charles almost chuckled. They don't end up dying, they just end up doing something that, almost every time, gets them into trouble. It was their own fault though.

_Charles, does she know you're a telepath?_

Erik didn't know why Charles was ignoring him. Maybe he was scared. He normally scared kids.

_And, my god, Charles is a CHILD! Well not a child – but... __*_another sigh***** … _Charles? Does she know? I'm not mad or anything, just tell me if she does._

Charles bit back his laughter and put up a hand to politely cover his spreading grin. _What does he think I think I am? A nine year old or something?_

A noise caused his head to snap to the side. Looking around, it was apparent that there was nobody else in the room other than Erik and Paola, the other person in the house was still sound asleep.

_Am I hallucinating? It hadn't felt like a hallu-_

¨Are you on a bad trip?¨ Paola interrupted his thoughts. Erik watched Charles with furrowed brows.

Swiveling his head back to her, he stood a little straighter and flashed her a reassuring smile. ¨I'm perfectly fine, my dear.¨

She looked at Erik for confirmation, and amazingly, that didn't annoy Charles. _Interesting._

¨Could you focus, please? Now tell me, what happened to her?¨

¨To be perfectly blunt,¨ She put the bottle down and leaned on the counter with her arms crossed. ¨She met you.¨ Her words were hard but her tone playful.

¨That is not an explanation, darling.¨ Charles wasn't proud that his focus was slipping. He didn't love Harriet, and by no means did she mean enough to him to change his life, but all of the suspense with Raven and Paola was putting him on edge.

She passed a hand through her deep brown hair. ¨It wasn't your fault, I don't blame you. It wasn't anybody's fault, really. But let me start from the beginning.¨ She looked up at him as if asking for permission.

¨That would be most helpful.¨

Taking another swig from the bottle with shaking hands, Paola began the tale of her sister's death.


	12. Chapter 12

¨She died on your birthday. You turned seventeen that day. You and your sister had a fight and so you came here." Trembling, she took another gulp of the alcohol, sending a calming burn down her throat. Prepared to drill a hole into the carpet with her gaze alone, Paola continued her story.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. We were on the couch and she was combing my hair when you knocked. She told me to go upstairs and go to sleep." That was the last time she kissed my forehead goodnight.

"I didn't go to sleep, though. I hid next to the landing and watched from the stairs. It was pretty obvious that you were high and drunk. Well…more than usual, I mean. You invited her to go to a club with you. 'Celebrate', you had said. Surprisingly, she said no." She raised her watery eyes to Charles' to share a sad smile.

"It was unusual for Harriet to refuse, but after you worked your charm on her, she ended up going out with you. One thing I do remember…even though I hid very well and you were intoxicated beyond the legal limits, you turned your head and stared right at me, as if you knew exactly where I was the whole time. I don't know why it stuck out, but it did. She left a note for me and then left with you."

Went out with Charlie, be back soon. Eat some fruit!

She bit her lip as a tear streaked its way down her right cheek. Charles' eyes followed the bead of liquid as it dripped down to her chin before falling to its final resting place on the carpet.

¨Anyway, you both went for a night out. Not the best idea with you not even able to walk straight, but it seemed like any other night so I went to sleep." She sniffed and passed her trembling hand on her face, wiping tears slower than they fell."The next thing I know, it's morning and the cops are at the door telling me to identify Harriet's body. Of course I freaked out, but the cop was nice enough to stick with me and brought me to the morgue. It was HORRIBLE! I almost vomited the moment they lifted the sheet. I think I was a bit in shock because I don't remember anything after I said 'Yeah, that's her.' I just, somehow, ended up in this chair again."

Taking a breath to recompose, Paola looked up at the man sitting in front of her. Sitting on the edge of the cushion with his forearms on his knees, Charles watched her with a steady gaze and furrowed brows.

"You just disappeared. I asked the cops if you were dead too, but they said that there was no one that matched your description in the injured or dead list. The cops didn't explain much. All I got was that a fight broke out and a lot of people were involved in it. I don't know how or why it started but the fight turned into a tiny bit of a riot, apparently."

Her expression hardened a little as she returned Charles' gaze.

"A week later, you suddenly showed up at my door asking for forgiveness until you passed out. You were delirious, I think you were high and drunk again. I got you into the house until you woke up and then kicked you out. On the second day, I slammed the door in your face. You were, of course, high as shit again. But that didn't stop you from yelling through the door that it was your fault that all those people died. You said that it wasn't your intention for them to actually die, but that you thought about it and it just happened. You kept on pleading and blaming yourself trough the door. You said you wished them dead…and people died. Harrie died."

Charles' reaction to her story was so minute that the two other people in the room didn't even see it. Just a quick twitch in his eye was all the reaction his body allowed. Erik's eyes, on the other hand, went wide at what Paola was saying.

Charles! Answer me, for God's sake! He took a mental deep breath. She can put us all in danger. She may be a real threat! The CIA is not to be trifled with.

Erik, please. Ok, now he was purely teasing the man with his silence, but who can blame him? Erik's mind and temper are quite endearing and interesting.

¨It was obviously a bunch of nonsense, but it was infuriating to see you wasting the life my sister didn't get the chance to live. Each time you came by, I would slam the door in your face. I wouldn't talk to you unless you stopped showing up bloody, high and/or drunk."

Is that why she said, "…always bandaged up?" Erik mused, continuing to watch Charles stare blankly at a quivering Paola. Even with the bandages on, Erik couldn't help but drink in Charles' beautiful features; the angular jaw, the milky white skin, the lashes that would create a tiny pool of black under his eyes when he blinked. He's lost some weight, he is already so skinny.

¨I know that I shouldn't have been so angry that my sister died and you didn't, but I felt like you were wasting your life. And every time you would yell for me to open the door, I would just be reminded of your voice when you would call for my sister to let you in. I would sometimes just stand there and close my eyes, listening to your voice, and I'd imagine that my sister was next to me because she's fixing her hair before running down to open the door for you. I had to stay strong, though. She wouldn't have wanted me to spend my life mourning her, as miserable as you, so I tried to move on."

She peeked at him under her lashes, and steadied her breathing when Charles didn't react. He doesn't look bothered, at all.

¨You came by my place five or six more times until you gave up. I don't know what happened to you, but months passed by before you showed up again. That time you brought your annoying sister with you and things became a bit hysterical. I yelled, she yelled and you just stood there with a blank expression on your face. I screamed at you and blamed you for her death, because you were the reason she went out that night." She added apologetically " I know it wasn't your fault, it's not like you forced her, but I blamed you anyway. Your sister went nuts that day. She slapped me and told me you blamed yourself enough for it already, and that I didn't have the right to blame you too. She told me that it was destroying you so I should either make things easier for you or not bother opening the door for you, ever again. I didn't see what she was talking about, though. You looked fine. You looked clean, as clean as I had ever seen you. But, I didn't forgive you that day. You came by once or twice a week, every week after that. It faded to phone-calls every week when you moved back to England, until the beginning of last year. We never really talked much about you, we always ended up talking about my life, my sister, or useless shit. After a month or so of talking so much to you, I realized that you were keeping your word to fly straight, so I found myself finally forgiving you."

Her eyes took in his appearance again, his eyes as blue as ever but with bags forming underneath, his body more curved than normal but still very straight and polite. He was difficult to read as always.

"I thought you would be happy about it, and you had something to do in the US so you came to pay me a visit and I finally said those words. But even though I was never good at reading you, I could tell that your smile was forced. After that day, you disappeared for two months. It was then that I realized just how hard you took her death." And I started pitying you. I finally saw how much you had cared for her and how much you were suffering.

Charles was too involved in her emotions and story to scoff at her. He didn't care much for Harriet. She had been useful, interesting, fun and bright, but she was only an experiment.

¨When we talked next, you acted like I hadn't said anything and we continued that way until you stopped visiting."

Finally, there was something that Erik was able to relate to. Paola's story was consistent with the timeline that he knew of Charles' life – however little of it he knows. He knew Charles had graduated from Harvard and went back to England to get his Ph.D in Oxford, he felt stupid for being so ignorant to Charles' past.

"Whenever I asked you how you were or tried to talk about you, you'd change the subject or say that your life was peachy. The only thing I know about the months you didn't speak to me and the time you spent mourning was what Raven told me when she's drunk or crying…God that girl does not know how to hang! From what I understand, after Harriet died, you freaked out and threw yourself into drugs and alcohol like you were trying to kill yourself. You also did some stupid things that she wouldn't tell me about. She said that if you weren't messed up on that shit, you were depressed, that one day, out of the blue, you had an epiphany and you just up and got clean. You got a PhD and moved on with your life. When you disappeared last year I was afraid something had happened, I thought maybe you relapsed…but here you are!"

Paola and Erik watched Charles silently, waiting for the explosion they were sure would come. Maybe shouting, crying and hugging, or groveling at her feet for forgiveness.

But nothing happened.

Silence permeated the room for a few seconds. The only sound that broke the silence was the slow drip-drip of the leaky faucet in the kitchen. Paola's hand gripped the bottle with a death grip when Charles tilted his head slightly to the side, studying her face like a lost person studying a city map.

¨That explains a lot, thank you!"

Oh god, I think he's in shock. He looks like he doesn't believe a single thing I've said.

¨Uhhh…sure, no problem. I owe you a lot actually. You helped me get through school and keep this house. If it weren't for you, I would have probably lost everything along with Harriet, so…¨

¨Don't thank me, honey. It wasn't me…it was future-me.¨ He smirked and got up. "How about a rain-check on the drink, yes?"

Her face fell. Charles never leaves here without drinking a bit. The news must have had some impact on him, after all. I mean, he was in love with sis. Shaking her head to regain some focus, she followed Charles' lead and got up. Putting the bottle down on the table, Paola stepped close to Charles and threw her arms around him, bringing him in for a fierce hug. Charles, ever the polite one, calmly hugged her back, though definitely not with the same warmth she was exhibiting. After he was sure it wouldn't be rude to break away, he patted her back and broke the hug.

Silently, Erik followed Charles with his eyes as he gave his goodbyes and walked out the door. As he followed him out, Erik caught the look of guilt she threw him as he nodded a farewell to her. He didn't pay the girl much attention, not when his mind was filled with much bigger questions.

Did Charles tell people he was a telepath? No he wouldn't… Would he? It's quite obvious we don't know much about him. God…Charles was drug addict! Sweet, naïve Charles had been a drug addicted teenager who had a drug addicted friend that had a younger sister that may even know that Charles is a telepath. And Charles felt so guilty because this girl died that when he had the chance, he forgot all about it. Is that it? This is crazy!

The fact that Charles was into drugs shouldn't have been that much of a shock to Erik. In the time that they spent together recruiting, the German picked up on signs that Charles has experimented with things other than alcohol. Charles was a curious soul, always trying this and that or poking his nose here and there because it was out of the norm. But even though he could understand that his friend had experimented, finding out that he was a hardcore drug using, mind screwing jerk was a akin to a bad joke. It was a much bigger shock than it should have been for Erik. He spent the majority of his life detached from compassion, but Charles was the only person that he could be bothered to care about for more than half a second. So to hear that he knew close to nothing about the man left Erik angry, at himself and Charles, he thought they trusted each other. He had shared more with Charles than any other person in his life.

He wanted to wrap Charles in a blanket and take him home, make him spill his secretes, tease his flash, mark it, lick those cherry girl's words were catching up to him though.

"You kept saying it was your fault that all of those people died. That you wished Harriet was dead, so she died." Had Charles really killed those people or was he delirious like the girl said? He was probably high. It's one thing to accept that Charles had abused drugs, but it is a completely different story when it's a possibility he could be a murderer. He can't be! It's Charles…then again, it IS Charles. He's a powerful telepath. He just had a fight with Raven, he was a high and drunk hormonal teenager, he probably didn't have that much control over his powers yet…it sounds like the perfect storm.

"Shut up." Charles didn't raised his voice but not much, his tone sharp.

Erik was so lost in his thoughts that Charles' sudden stop and tone was enough to make the older man jump. Snapping his gaze to Charles' eyes when the younger man whirled around, Erik's eyes went wide at the fury brewing in those baby blue eyes.

"Would you stop projecting so loud already!?"

Sighing to himself, Erik realized that Charles had heard every thought that ran through his head. Teenage Charles certainly had no qualms about privacy.

"Sure, as soon as you stop walking around randomly. Where are you planning to go now? Another old friend's house?"

¨She wasn't my friend!¨ He massaged the bridge of his nose.

¨Really? Is that all you have to say after you heard me thinking you might be a murderer? And a drug addict?¨

The only response Erik got was the back of Charles' head as he turned and stalked away again. Heaving another sigh, Erik dutifully resumed shadowing the younger man. The sooner Charles gets all the craziness out of his system, the faster he can take him back to Westchester. forcing him wouldn't do: he had tried to force Charles into a training section before and it hadn't ended well.

Ten minutes of walking in silence later, they ended up at a well-stocked liquor store. At the counter, Charles greeted the man with his usual, bordering on smug, smile and asks the cashier for "Jura Vintage, please…oldest you got. Bring them all out."

When the cashier disappeared to the back of the store, Erik took the time to try and talk some sense into the stubborn man.

¨You just heard something stressing about your past…let's go back to the manor so you can rest, OK? Throwing yourself back into the cycle of drugs and alcohol is not going to help!" Though Charles may seem calm enough on the outside, Erik can see the balled up fists in his pocket and the almost invisible tremors going through his body.

When he didn't get a response, Erik took a step over to place a gentle hand on Charles' arm. Quickly shaking the offending appendage off his body, Charles' attention is caught by the store clerk coming to the front with a small box.

¨Here it is, sir: 4 bottles of 15 year old Jura Vintage¨ With a stranger this close and vulnerable, Charles almost gets sucked in to his mind as he mentally nudges the clerk to hand the box over.

With a lift of Charles' hand to his temple, the man smiles at them. ¨Thank you very much, sir.¨

Charles grabbed the box and turned to walk out the door, only to get stopped by Erik's hand on his chest. Opening his mouth to ask the much avoided question of Paola knowing Charles' mutation, Erik didn't expect to blink once and find himself transported from the liquor store to the manor's humongous iron gate.

Shocked and confused Erik's eyes go wide and he blinks several times as he tries to get his head around what just happened. He's standing miles away from town with sore legs. He's been through this enough to know that Charles has just used his powers to send him away...again!

Furious, Erik swings the gate open with a wave of his hand and proceeds to walk, much more forcefully than is necessary, the rest of the way to the mansion. All the while, Erik was damning Charles to all the different levels of Hell and thinking of the many different ways that he could punish Charles before he was sent off to Hell (thankfully, no telepath was around because some of those thoughts turned a bit naughty when one of the punishments included a paddle and handcuffs).

He had to admit, though, that his previous assumptions of Charles were all unfounded. This thought made his heart clench painfully as he realized Charles is out there, most probably suffering, alone.

He really has become my weakness! I have to stop hanging around him so much.

Entering the house as quickly as he could, Erik slammed the door before going in search of Raven. He didn't have to look for long…Raven, Sean and Alex sat in the TV room staring at the television. It was quite obvious they weren't actually watching anything. Their faces were devoid of emotion as they stared at the black and white screen blankly.

For a second, Erik thought that Charles was there and had frozen them, but at the sound of his feet, they whirled around to look at him. Their eyes lit up as they scanned the space around him for Charles, but the spark quickly faded when Charles was nowhere to be seen.

"Raven, Charles ran away.¨ The word AGAIN was left hanging in the air. ¨Do you have any idea where he might be?"

At his words, she jumped up from the couch, rounding on him with eyes of fire. ¨What do you mean he ran away? Weren't you supposed to get him back?!¨

Almost at the point of breaking, Erik approached and shook her slightly. He knows she's not blaming him…she's just as desperate as he is to get him back, but all of the emotions were overwhelming him and he allowed himself the forceful "RAVEN!" to release some of the anger. MY GOD, what have I done?! If only I hadn't deflected that bullet! He should have deflected it back to the human , killed that fucking woman!

Coming back to his senses, he released her and ran a hand through his hair before continuing. ¨He used his powers to send me away…I wasn't expecting that from Charles."

¨Not like the Charles you know, is he?¨ She chuckled darkly before slumping back down onto the sofa with her head in her hands.

¨Erik" Sean's voice sounds so lost. ¨we need to find him.¨

Alex completes Sean's statement immediately, ¨As long as he is out there, he is in danger. Raven, where do you think he is?¨

Raven shakes her head. ¨I don't know. He could be anywhere. At 17, Charles went out a lot and he didn't exactly have a problem getting in wherever he wanted to.¨

¨Think, Raven! It's been at least 5 hours since I last saw him. ¨

Seems like his sense of humor is different as well, he made me walk all the way from the city to the mansion.

¨That's enough time for the CIA to find him.¨ Sean deadpanned.

¨I don't know.¨ She sighed into her hands.

"THINK!"

A moment passes where Raven rocked back and forth a little before she found the courage to stand up. Rounding on him again with renewed fire in her eyes, Raven pointed a finger at Erik. "WAIT! He wouldn't have just sent you away for nothing! What did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything! And it isn't important! If you care about him, think about where he could have gone."

She considered it for a moment and, though she knew something upset her brother, she gave in. ¨I don't know where he is! He could be at a club, a bar or somebody's apartment or-"

Alex rolled his eyes and huffed. ¨Well, that helps. Now we just have to search the whole goddamn city.¨

¨Shut up, Alex, let me finish!" She took a breath in. ¨If he is at a club, it will be one of the popular ones with hella people and a lot of underground activity. Not any of the fancy ones, so that should narrow it down a little at least. If he is at a bar, then we are screwed because he could be at any bar that isn't queen worthy fancy. And if he already met someone, we can only wait for him at his flat because if that happens, it can be a few days before we see him again." She massaged the bridge of her nose at the memories of his recklessness and Erik furrowed his brows when a spark of jealousy went through his body.

Did that happen often?

¨So, we are basically screwed.¨ Alex's useful input, again.

¨Yeah, pretty much.¨

¨We have to start searching.¨ Hank spoke up, startling them. For being the biggest, most noticeable one of them all, he was quite skilled at sneaking around when he wants to. ¨I'll go get a list of the parties around the city and then we can go from clubs to the rest of the list.¨ He left the room and everyone braced themselves for a night out on the town – not a very enjoyable one, at that.

Sent from my IPhone 7


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